If Useless Information was at One Time Useful and Used to Accomplish Useful Things Then Who Decided it Was Useless?

halloween_decorating_ideas_for_small_bathrooms_from_bathroom_bliss_by_rotator_rod_6_grandeWith as many words as I spew out each day, occasionally I’ll wax poetic and my poor brain will begin to wander. Where it wanders is anybody’s guess.

On this particular day, it decided that a trip laden with useless information was its destination.

Let us delve deeper into the abyss, past the cobwebs and detour sign, which is my cranium, and gather the aforementioned information.

Here comes one now, it says, “lawyers banned in all fifty states from advertising. The ban was lifted in 1977.”… Too much, too much, this must not be!

Now we are in a place where the cobwebs are at their thickest. There’s another one entwined within the webs. “Why do some motocross drivers beat their bike with a riding crop? …Beating inanimate object beyond ludicrous, must go!

Look! There’s one lying in the muck and mire of my sad empty brain cavity.  Everyone knows the Wicked Witch of the East died due to a drop in the housing market, but did you know her sister,  the Wicked Witch of the West had a severe… and I mean a severe, twice personified body odor problem? She hung around with monkeys and never took a bath, being as  water led to dissolution problems…  Movie debut in 1939. On a quiet night you can still smell bubbling b.o.

I guess when you really get down to it, there’s no accounting for taste… or for that matter smell.     

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How ya Doin? Fine. How you Doin? Fine. You Sure you Okay? Well, I’ve Been Better. Yeah, I’ve Been Better, Too. Actually, I’m Feeling Pretty Rotten. Yeah, I’m Gonna Lie Down.

3338c80e2bfdff47c21d3eec4fba9398          Looking back on my blog, it was obvious my previous post was centered around words, and why not? What’s better than words when you’re a writer?

          Words take many forms. I particularly like the, “Hi”’s, “How ya doin”’s and the responses they elicit. When it comes to greeting another your choices are somewhat limited: “Hi, Hello, Salutations, Hey, Greetings, Yo, What’s up, How ya doin,” and the like.

          When you respond to one of these greetings, especially if it contains a question, the sky is the limit. You must be careful when asking someone, how they are doing; you might get more than you bargained for. Answers you may encounter: “Fine, Okay, Good, Not so good,” and everything from a runny nose to the plague, just to name a few.

My favorite responses have to be those from the good ol boy belt of which I am a member: “Fair, Fair to middlin, Tolerable, Seen better days, Been worse, If I got any better I couldn’t stand myself and Just as well as if I had good sense.”

It all boils down to words. In and of themselves they can be most anything…but I guess that’s up to each one of us.

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If I Were a Word and You Were a Word Would We Fall in Love and Forever Be Separated by an Evil Semicolon Bent on Word Domination?

weasel-words-wordleBeing an author, it goes without saying I use a lot of words. In fact, without words it would be hard to call myself an author. To take it a little further, there would be no need to consider myself an author. To take it a lot further, there’s no way I could be writing this blog, and civilization as we know it would more than likely collapse. But I digress.

          Words, in and of themselves, are interesting little creatures; however, we tend to get a little carried away in their usage. For whatever reason, we have a hard time allowing one or two words to describe a subject. For instance, simile, metaphor, analogy, and euphemism are four words used to describe very similar things.

          We have the words laceration, contusion, and abrasion. Do we really need three more words like cut, bruise, and scrape to describe the same conditions?

          If we use the word “stuff”, we find ourselves with an avalanche of similar words at our disposal. Now I’ll be the first to admit that multiple words saying the same thing can be useful, but enough is enough.

No wonder American English is so hard for someone of a different culture to assimilate, especially when you figure in words spelled the same but pronounced differently. I’ll leave you with a few examples: minute, read, wind, lead, live, wound, tear, bow, close, and excuse. You get the idea, and with that last word, if you use it correctly, that’s my excuse to end this post!

 

 

 

 

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If You Thought You Were a Character Who Thought They Were You, Would the Character Think You Were Wrong or Would You Think You Were Right? Personally, I’m Thinking You’re Both In Need of Help.

58542183-literary-classics-and-fictional-characters-dreamed-up-by-a-childThis is an odd question, but do you ever consider personalities? Okay, have you ever considered your own personality? Now it pretty much goes without saying that we all consider other people’s personalities, whether good or bad.

It’s kinda like Jesus when He said, and I paraphrase: remove the plank from your own eye before removing the speck from your neighbor’s eye.

I guess you’re wondering what this has to do with anything. Well, I’ll tell ya. Do you feel that you pass on your personality traits to the characters in your books? You would almost have to, to some extent.

It would also depend in which genre you chose to write. In my case, I write science fiction, fantasy, action adventure and now, I’m in the middle of a children’s book for my grandson. Go figure.

I certainly hope the attributes I pass on to my characters are basically good, although I know that’s not necessarily the case.    I have loads of nasty, and downright mean, characters threaded throughout my writings. I wouldn’t be surprised if a sliver of me found its way into some of these creatures. Or perhaps I’m writing in this fashion, looking for a way to express the feelings that I don’t possess…Yeah, that’s the ticket.

So in conclusion (since I’ve determined I’m not a ghoul), maybe examining your writing would give you an inside look at yourself and save loads of money on therapy.

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Inline, Outline, Sideline, Offline, Online, Reline, Byline, Battle line, Underline, Over line, Thin line, Center line, Line, Line, Line. Just Write the Book.

should-you-outline-your-novelEveryone writes differently. Some outline each chapter so they’ll have a decisive path to follow. Others will have a loose outline from beginning to end in order to retain a little wiggle room for plot changes as they write. There is no right or wrong, it’s whichever method you choose that makes you comfortable. Me, I tend to fly by the seat of my pants, letting the wind dictate my direction. I still retain the right to override any decision and maintain first rights to dismiss the wind and any other nondescript faction that would send said manuscript awry.

If you write like I do (staring at a blank page while an idea ferments and then presents itself), I have a question. Have you ever started a manuscript and within the first two chapters the ultimate ending pops into your head? The only problems are the particulars necessary to round out the climax to an unforgettable event. Hopefully, you can discern all the particulars by the time you hit the last chapter. If not, you’ll certainly have them by the time you finish your multiple edits and rewrites…just saying.

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I Guess I Just Like the Name “Dalon Con”

images-2In the second book of the “Rising Tide” series, “Eden’s Wake,” I introduced a new character, “Dalon Con.” He only appeared for a page or two, but was pivotal to the outcome of the book. I found this interesting, as it shows the smallest contribution can have a profound effect on the outcome of any situation.

I decided that this act deserved more than a two page mention, barely enough to call an introduction. The only way to remedy this was to give this kind old man a novel to call his own.

I put virtual pen to virtual paper several weeks ago. I’m delving into what I would term as virgin territory, “Urban Fantasy.” It doesn’t sound like that much of a stretch since I usually write science fiction and fantasy; however, a small change in genre may influence writing in a major way.

It’s going well and I’m enjoying expanding on a character that was first encountered in an eerie wasteland, being the savior for a nearly dead protagonist. In the new book of the same name, “Dalon Con,” he alters his true persona, portraying a thirty something in a violent urban setting. He travels to his wilderness homeland to find his ward the Great One has given him to befriend in this hellish existence.

It’s amazing how we connect emotionally with someone who exists only in our mind…but I guess that’s what it’s all about.

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The Theory of Relative Normality Must not be Confused with the Normality Relative Theory or the Other One from that Einstein Guy

I find when I write, there are times the way I phrase a sentence seems to be correct, then turns out unacceptable when read a second time.a91bb8fdaecab525bfdb3e446b36f25f

For example: I’d eat lobster every day if I could afford to.

The proper way: If I could afford lobster, I’d eat it every day.

I catch a lot of these mistakes when doing edits and rewrites. I call it, “backward dyslexia in reverse.”

In order to understand this phenomenon, we must first realize that everyone is different. At the same time, we must not forget the similarities we find in each another. These situations are based on normality and since what we are referring to is normal, it becomes relative. Since relative can mean anything from tooth picks to steamships, we find ourselves confused, disoriented and just plain out of sorts.

So watch those sentence structures and you’ll be that much closer to a published author…relatively speaking.

 

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