Tag Archives: Halloween

The Year is New, But Where Do It All Go?

Well, it’s the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty. Hopefully, we’ll have 20/20 vision going in and throughout the next twelve months, although we will have to endure familiar oddities.

Weight loss commercials are a common sight on modern television; however, you know it’s the first of the year when you start seeing them tenfold. I never knew there were so many ways to lose several ounces to several hundred pounds. Of course, if you read the fine print you will see something on the order of, “average loss around eight pounds.” And, if you see an individual with a greater loss of weight, you again will read a disclaimer such as, “do not expect these results,” or “results not typical.”

What else shows us that the dawn of a new year has arrived? None other than Valentine’s candy on one aisle of your local Walmart with discounted Christmas candy on the other aisle. While Easter goodies stacked on a pallet in the back of the store are just chomping at the bit to make an appearance.

And we mustn’t forget the out with the old and in with the new that will emanate from every corner of the sales spectrum. This includes cars, appliances, boats, furniture and everything you can imagine right down to the candy corn for next Halloween. Which reminds me that Trick-or-Treat sweets will be filling our stores before long .

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Tricks, Treats, or Scrambled Eggs

English: Jack-o'-lanterns made of carved pumpk...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I decided to take a day off from writing so I could get a little writing done. Here’s what I came up with.

As I mentioned in my last post, we are now in the throes of what most people consider to be their favorite season, fall. The month of October lends itself to a multitude of activities that can only be had during these 31 days.

For instance:

  • Oktoberfest, where beer lovers gather to celebrate their favorite beverage, enjoying the peak colors of the beautiful turning leaves and celebrating the crisp cool weather that only fall can bring.
  • There are other activities associated with the 10th month of the year that we mustn’t forget. Namely that single holiday we all know and love, Halloween. What could be more fun than having cute little tikes waddle up to your door in their precious little costumes and utter those barely audible words, “twick or tweat.”
  • Pumpkins carved into jack-o’-lanterns, representing everything from the simple triangular-shaped eyes and nose to the unbelievably intricate works of art that stretch the imagination and confound the senses. Windows dressed with skeletons and ghosts. Monstrous spider webs stretched across hedges and shrubs.
  • Luscious treats for the taking. Miniature chocolate bars of all descriptions. Chocolate covered peanut butter cups that cause the saliva glands to work overtime. Toffee, sour discs and marshmallow chicks.
  • Even the morning after brings new delights. Trees and roofs covered in a woven tapestry of bathroom tissue. Of course, only three-ply can withstand the rigors of flying through the air at the speed of crap. Oh joy, now the morning dew causes the delicate paper to adhere to every surface it contacts bringing with it that uncontrollable desire to clean that which cannot be cleaned.
  • Windows covered in shaving cream, conjure snow-covered landscapes and cozy blazes wrapped in stone fireplaces, but soon turn to unshaven whiskers and glass emblazoned with a permanent haze.

I wonder…will my house and automobile need Lipitor to combat high cholesterol? Probably not. I am comforted by the thought that it’s only the raw eggs drying in the sun. Then suddenly, I remember a letter I have been expecting. Upon reaching the mailbox I realize that it won’t be coming today. On closer inspection it appears that someone has beaten my mental container that was approved by the Postmaster General himself so flat that a single bacteria could not gain entry.

Boy! I can hardly wait till next October.

Just a little FYI on Halloween:

There are so many different theories on the origin of the holiday I’ll leave that to the Halloween scholars and stick to the little I know. November 1st is the Christian holy day known as All Hallow’s Day or All Saint’s Day. November 2nd is All Soul’s Day which leaves October 31st as All Hallow’s Eve or Halloween.

Tell the truth, don’t you feel just a little bit better now that you know why you pick those little bits of toilet paper off your roof each year?

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