I Resolve Not to Resolve Any Resolute Revolutionary Resolutions

Here we find ourselves firmly entrenched in the holiday season. First there was Thanksgiving… 4 lbs. Then Christmas… another 4 lbs. and now we face the New Year, which should add another 4 lbs. plus a resolution to lose 12 lbs.

If you were approached by one of the large publishing houses to write a book on New Year’s resolutions, what would you do?

I certainly can’t speak for you, but my first inclination would be to run away screaming. Not being one to shy away from a challenge, I would curtail my flight and begin my journey into the realm of New Year’s resolutions.

First off, we must begin this search for statistical information to give our book credence. Sadly, your chances of achieving your goal are all but doomed before you start. Resolutions have a 92% failure rate.

Common attempts to better one’s self include:
1. Lose Weight
2. Quit Smoking
3. Spend Less
4. Stay Fit
5. Get Organized
6. If you master any of these, then this list is more than enough!

By the first week of January 50% of those who dare to delve into the realm of resolutions have already bitten the dust. Actually bite the dust is a bit anticlimactic. A mouth full of dirt, with head buried halfway into the ground is more on the order of what really takes place.

I feel as though I have dug into the merciless pit of despair and human failure. The depression brought about by such an unnecessary fiasco prevents me from clawing any further into this sea of broken dreams.

So there you have it. Better yourself if you must, although I would strongly advise against it unless you are blessed with an unusually strong supply of will power.

What else can I say? If you decide to plunge into this dark menagerie of failure and confusion, please obtain a reputable psychiatrist, antidepressants, tranquilizers, and it never hurts to have quick access to your local suicide hot line.

I do so hope that I’ve not deterred you from adopting a plan that will improve your situation during the upcoming year. If so, that was not my intention and I apologize. I merely wish to supply you with the facts so that you can make your own informed decisions.

If you will excuse me I believe my mental health doctor is taking holiday calls and I have yet to finish my lunch (a Xanax sandwich).
Have a wonderful New Year and we’ll talk next week.

Nighty, night.

Keep it Stupid Simple so Halfwits Like I is Able to Understood. Thank You

I’ve said this before; however, I think it bears saying again…on second thought, as important as I believe this statement to be, I will save it until the end of this post.

I have found when writing a blog all forms of what one would consider “normal writing” fly out the window never to be seen again.

Blogs require (in my opinion) something to keep the reader captivated. The subject matter doesn’t matter unless the matter is mind-numbingly dull. Now, that matters.

As I write my blogs, I like to stay within the boundaries of writing. Since I consider writing to have no boundaries, I have free reign or free range like the chicken of the same name.

When you look into “free range” chicken, you learn that a chicken can be labeled “free range” as long as it has access from its coup for 30 minutes or less each day. Since this is totally unacceptable for my definition of “free range,” we will stick with free reign.

You may structure your blog post around serious subject matter or important current events. You may base your post around historical or political incidents. You may choose to pen your post around a pillar of nonsense (which I find works well for me) since it allows you to maintain a certain level of humor along with any pinch of truth you may want to include.

Once you draw your readers in, you may do with them what you will. If you can pull them into your web, then you have accomplished what every writer strives to do.

So, continue to write your blog and find out what works best for you and your audience…oh, and that revelation I was going divulge at the end of the post stemming from the first two sentences…

I need a bit more time to mull this ultimate disclosure over just to make sure you are ready to receive it. I’m not being condescending; just very concerned for your safety.

Until then, take good care and have a very Merry Christmas.

My Kingdom For a Marketer. My Kingdom For a Marketer. Oh, Loathe The Nasty Bugger, My Kingdom For a Marketer.

I have written numerous short stories, a weekly blog and am in the latter stages of publishing my third novel. Even with this small amount of success, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the writing process.

If I were to break the process down as I understand it (taking the word understand with a grain of salt) then happy is the day I actually begin a new book. This sense of elation stays with me each morning as I arise just chomping at the bit to get started.

Once the book is complete, I move to what I call a continuity edit. That’s where I make sure the first half of the book jives with the second half of the book. For instance, if Hank marries Ramona and has a boy named Lucius in Chapter Three, then Hank dies in Chapter Fourteen, we can’t have Hank and Ramona returning from vacation with a daughter, Lucy, in Chapter Thirty Two. I realize the last sentence was three times longer than it should have been; however, you must remember this is my blog and I do what I want to do. Anyway, you get the jest of the continuity edit (which if I haven’t mentioned, I don’t particularly care for).

Next comes one of my lesser favorite parts of writing, even more so than the continuity edit, and that’s the line by line edit. I believe I would rather have someone set my head on fire then edit a book. Nuff said.

Then comes my absolute nemesis. The period of my life where I turn from Dr. Jekyll into the hideous Mr. Hyde and this little labor of love we refer to as “marketing” begins. With the mere mention of that accursed word (marketing) I feel my blood pressure rising and a wretched anger building from the bowels of my soul.

So with that, I shall drop an adequate number of Valium and make for my happy place.

So long until next week when we will explore…I ain’t figured it out yet, but I’ll throw something together, hopefully for your enjoyment.

The Valium is starting to kick in, so I’m off to my happ……

2016 Science Fiction Novel “Terminal Core” Release, “Rising Tide” Series on Sale

Hello all,

I have a science fiction  novel unrelated to the “Rising Tide” series  being released  during  the first part of 2016, “Terminal Core.” More to follow.

I am re-posting information on the “Rising Tide” series on sale until the end of December.

The “Rising Tide” series, including book one, “Rising Tide”:

Another blast ripped through the Orion cutting all power and knocking him to the floor. Ben lifted himself off the deck and found it was impossible to stand. He crawled to the COM panel. “Marty! All systems down! All systems down!” he repeated. A category six hurricane above and the habitat below, he just left destroyed by the blast, Ben finds himself alone in a decompression chamber.  In Rising Tide, Lynn Steigleder depicts a world slowly being covered by the seas.

And book two, “Eden’s Wake”:

Ben’s best friend is killed in an underwater implosion on a dying world. Living to die again, the two men reunite and battle for an ancient artifact, a relic which will ensure this planet’s survival. Ben crosses a threshold. The world he leaves—doomed; the world he enters—reborn. His wife, Eve, and their bumbling charge, Eleazor, follow Ben through the doorway and blindly into the void.  They continue their adventure battling a menagerie of creatures  bent on destroying the group and their faith.

Both novels in the ebook  format will be on sale for $1.99 on Amazon and  http://christophermatthewspub.com from now until the end of December.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving  and GOD Bless.

Lynn