Tag Archives: trees

Ho, Ho, Ho!

I have a friend who’s been after me to write a children’s Christmas story… I don’t know. Most of my characters have unusual attributes that wouldn’t easily lend themselves to a children’s story. nativityMaybe if that child were the spawn of two maniacal beings?

For this particular friend (who happens to be one of my best buds) I will give it a try, but I ain’t sure she’s gonna like it.

While we’re on the subject of Christmas… are you ready? We’re only about 2 ½ weeks away… Well, of course, you’re not.

Is the sky the limit? Or do you approach the holiday more conservatively? Is it cash on the barrel or “Charrrrge it!”

Are you making that large four-wheel purchase this year or possibly surprising that special someone with that ring finger rock that signals future nuptials?

Just remember, that diamond you’re encouraged to pay three months’ salary for is worth about a dime-a-dozen. The diamond industry is so regulated that they can turn a common gemstone into a rare commodity.

Here’s a suggestion:

  • Bash the bottom out of an old soft drink bottle.
  • Shape the selected piece on a grinder.
  • Polish alternatingly with finer grits of emery cloth until the desired sheen is achieved.
  • Cut a piece of pipe corresponding to the size of the intended’s left ring finger (this may be taken from any type of tubing, copper, brass, etc).

Once complete, you’ll have a ring every bit as valuable as its counterpart and maybe more so due to the originality factor. Then, just to reinforce your lack of conformity, slide the ring on her finger and lick her right square on the jaw after she says, “Yes.”

Marketing, marketing, marketing. I need to get a diamond marketing executive working on my book. Each piece of literature will come with a one-of-a-kind engagement ring of my design. I already have the slogan, “Every lick begins with Lynn.” …Nuff said.

Certainly, you have your decorating complete by now. Your Christmas tree trimmed and flashing in chorus with a massive display of exterior illumination. Together, they transmit a beacon to surrounding counties alerting them to your holiday presence.

I remember one year stringing thousands upon thousands of lights. My front yard looked like a passel of demented one legged spiders had descended, attempting to spin one bad web between them. Needless to say, they failed miserably. I believe it was around Easter before the lights were down and tucked away. Once again…nuff said.

Stockings on the mantle, Nutcrackers line the shelves, representations of practically every Santa Claus around the world and a few off  planet variations arespread about the house.

A Christmas village fills the entire fireplace hearth. Ceramic houses, angel hair snow, and pine trees add color to the white landscape.

I saved the best for last…

A large nativity scene outside and several smaller ones inside our home depict the very beginnings of a Gift. A Gift that would endure the cross, conquer the grave, and span the ages.

Merry Christmas!

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Pass the Mustard Please

Pommes frites med ketchup

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Many times when I write, I find myself pausing to reflect over what I’ve written. Usually this has something to do with the story itself. However, there are instances when my hesitation is due to a situation in my life that parallels that point in my novel. And then there are those times when my dillydallying instructs me in the ways of total irrelevant, off-the-wall, nonsensical ideas that lead to my posting a blog on things that I wonder about, not including myself.

Take that wonderfully red, tomato and vinegar-based condiment we all know and love. It’s the perfect accompaniment to french fries, hamburgers, hot dogs…I even know people who use it on eggs. It’s none other than… I’m not exactly sure what to call it.

 Allow me to step back for a moment. I’ve come to the point in my life where I can now safely consider myself middle-aged. That, in and of itself, is of no concern… well… maybe just a little, but more importantly it gives me a wealth of knowledge that only years can bring… well… maybe not that many years… and maybe not that much knowledge. I guess the best I can hope for is to be half smart or half stupid. You make the call. Anyway I digress; better get back on track.

When I was but a youngster I recall this magical concoction known as, “catsup.” Of course, today it is commonly called, “ketchup.” Come to think of it, I’ve always referred to it as ketchup and can’t actually think of anyone who called it catsup. From what I understand, after an exhaustive search, ketchup was more commonly known as catsup only in the southern United States. In fact, I can only remember seeing the word catsup one time printed on a catsup bottle… In conclusion, maybe you should disregard all that you have just read, for I feel as though I have somehow dropped thirty IQ points for writing it.

The vote is unanimous:  Half stupid

I have time for one more tidbit of stuff. As I have said, we need to be good stewards of this beautiful planet that God has given us. This includes a multitude of things that we need to be mindful of, such as, pollution, conservation and being kind to one another, just to name a few. As I look at my computer screen, I notice the piece of electronic paper I’m writing on and how important conservation efforts have been to preserve our woodland resources.

Conservation actually began with Teddy Roosevelt and has grown (pun intended) into what it is today. As important as it is to keep these conservation methods in place, we should also remember what a wonderful resource trees are and not be afraid to utilize them. The beauty and structure they bring to homes and multitudes of other buildings is unattainable without their contribution. In fact, there are trees planted just for pulpwood to manufacture paper. Believe it or not, there are more trees now than one hundred years ago.

Trees are a renewable resource.  We must continue to plant more than we harvest and leave old-growth forests alone. Of course, there are always a few folks who won’t take, “yes,” for an answer.

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