Tag Archives: Publishing

I’m Gonna Write Me One of Them Thar Books. Can’t Be but So Hard, a Word Here, a Word Thar a Period or Two and You Got It…I Reckon

I had a notion in my mind

It couldn’t be a waste of time

A book I would attempt to pen

Publish, get rich, repeat again

I tap, tap, tapped on my computer machine

My first manuscript was about to be seen

By some lucky agent I would certainly find

How hard could it be they’re a dozen a dime

I wrote and rewrote til my draft was perfected

Sure there’s no chance that it was rejected

I concocted a query, a letter unequaled

Correspondence so grand it deserved its own sequel

I awaited response knowing it’d take a while

Though confident my quest would end with a smile

The agent responded in most record time

The answer received was nowhere in line

With my expectations they could not be right

How could anyone reject a story so bright?

A novel so brilliant it outshone the sun

The nerve of this agent to say it was done

I tried once again this time I sent two

Two agents at once, surely one’d see it through

Then replies filtered back, not all at one time

I could not grasp when I saw none sublime

How could they turn superior work down?

Couldn’t they see the best seller they’d found

It doesn’t matter to me the funds they won’t glean

By shunning the best work that I’ve ever seen

I made up my mind to play hard and fast

I’d send multiple queries as long as they’d last

I thought I may run out of agents that way

But I found they make more of them every day

I queried and queried and queried for years

Then verified one thing in common I’d feared

The agency letters all started with charm

By the end they gave way to a sense of alarm

Would I ever find a place for my work?

Or my constant search drive me berserk

At last I found a fantastic small press

That enjoyed my writing and banished my stress

Alas I have a place to call home

A place I feel I shan’t be alone

The next phase I hear will be but a breeze

It’s marketing something I’ll do with great ease

Post Script:

I’m still pushing forward not with great ease

I found out the hard way, marketing’s no breeze

If someone could help me I’m feeling inept

A marketing gang’s bout to beat me to death    

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The Theory of Relative Normality Must not be Confused with the Normality Relative Theory or the Other One from that Einstein Guy

I find when I write, there are times the way I phrase a sentence seems to be correct, then turns out unacceptable when read a second time.a91bb8fdaecab525bfdb3e446b36f25f

For example: I’d eat lobster every day if I could afford to.

The proper way: If I could afford lobster, I’d eat it every day.

I catch a lot of these mistakes when doing edits and rewrites. I call it, “backward dyslexia in reverse.”

In order to understand this phenomenon, we must first realize that everyone is different. At the same time, we must not forget the similarities we find in each another. These situations are based on normality and since what we are referring to is normal, it becomes relative. Since relative can mean anything from tooth picks to steamships, we find ourselves confused, disoriented and just plain out of sorts.

So watch those sentence structures and you’ll be that much closer to a published author…relatively speaking.

 

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I’ve Never Experienced Writer’s Block, I’ve Never Experienced Writer’s Block, I’ve Never Experienced Writer’s Block, I’ve Never Experienced Writer’s Block…

Imagine acquiring a literary agent. This agent quickly finds a publisher for your first book. You’re given deadlines to complete various parts of your manuscript. Things are going fine until your well-oiled machine slams into a concrete wall. Sound familiar?

Oh no! You’ve run into that immovablewriters_block_400 force known as writer’s block. This will send the average author screaming toward the hills.

Are you picking up what I am carefully placing down for you…?…Okay, good, let us continue.

What once was on schedule has now begun to slip behind. No big worries so far, but pandemonium may lie in the future if this problem is not corrected…sound familiar yet?

Guess what kids?  We’re now in the future which has been carefully renamed the present. Your publisher with much foreboding is insisting you complete the remaining pieces of your manuscript. You assure said publisher the remaining chapters are complete and will be sent next week after your final edits.

Your next move is to write the remaining few chapters.

Next week has come and gone and your publisher is threatening to cancel your contract. Your agent is also threatening cancellation and possible law suites to follow. Now, I ask again, does this sound familiar? If it does, you’re in a world of trouble and should have paid more attention to your deadlines.

As for me, I’ve been unable to coerce an agent so far. I have come close, but we know that close and three dollars will get you a cup of coffee. Until that day I’ll rely on small presses; they’re wonderful to work with.

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It Ain’t Over Till the Fat Manuscript Screams, “Its Over!”

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

‘Can you redo this manuscript, Lynn, and make it less stupid?’

If you read my blog last week and the week before, you’ll know I’ve been hashing out a novel back and forth with my editor trying to get it to the printer.

As I have mentioned, I thought we were done and the last copy I sent the publisher would be it. Now, one more thing I said, tongue in cheek, was having to read the manuscript another time.

Another thought that comes to mind (one also brought forth in my last blog) is I’ve read the book probably thirty times, including last week, the week before and probably the week before that.

Well, wonder of wonders, I received an email from my publisher saying the manuscript has been sent to the printer and now we have a proof.

Guess what? I get to read the proof (just another name for a finished manuscript), one more time.

Once I have completed this task (as long as nothing goes awry), we will actually go to print.

I cautiously say, “Hallelujah! I’m done and ready for the next!”

I hope I haven’t bored you to tears with this never-ending story but I felt it was something I needed to scrap off my chest…you know, cathartic.

Of course, this is determined by what the proof says.

Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Until next week, happy trails and whip them cantankerous manuscripts into shape.

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Just Because you Think You’re Right, Doesn’t Mean you are…Then Again, it Doesn’t Mean you Aren’t, Just That you Have Some Real Problems, Man

frustrated-kitIf you read my blog last week, I was firmly in the midst of beating an unruly manuscript into submission. I was mistakenly lulled into believing that this was a factual thought on my part.

Being an optimist, I am frequently pulled into situations that leave me believing that things are going to be alright. Boy, when am I going to learn?

Now as far as being an optimist goes, I think that’s something I’ll hold on to. Thinking everything is going to be alright has its merits and disappointments.

Case in point: Manuscripts you have tricked yourself into believing you have conquered; as if there were such a thing.

My editor and I had crossed wires and we were both speeding the opposite direction down different highways. Things became more misconstrued as we continued to travel.

Finally, we slammed on brakes realizing our conundrum. We jumped on board the same vehicle and I can now tentatively say, we’re on the same page.

This book, just like last week, is my latest offering, “Terminal Core,” which is headed to the printer even as we speak.

I feel as though I have read this book in its many forms 30 times or more. In fact, I just completed the novel last week, the week before and probably the week before that.

The one shining star in the middle of this bedlam is after the proof comes from the printer, I get to read it one more time.

As crazy as this seems, it’s all a part of the process known as…ah…well…I’m not sure whatcha call spending months to pen a novel, months to rewrite and edit said novel, send to a publisher, then spend large amounts of time with an editor thrashing out the final details.

I guess the best way to describe it would be blocks of fun, with intermittent periods of horror.  Remember, the underpinning and solid foundation of  success (at least in my case) leads me to rely on prayer.

Give it a try sometime if you take a mind to; it just may surprise you.

Don’t be afraid to jump in with both feet, it’s really not as bad as I described. Actually, it’s a lot of fun and I feel fortunate God gave me this task to contend with each day.

Now, where’d I leave that fountain pen?

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Terminal Core: To be Released Soon.

TERMINALCORE FCIn “Terminal Core” I’ve taken a break from the “Rising Tide” series and produced a stand alone sci-fi adventure. It was a pleasure and a real bear to write, but so rewarding to watch the pieces fall into place with the painstaking work of my editor and publisher Soul Fire Press. I will re-post  as soon as the  release date becomes available.

Aon, a solid core planet made from the priceless and most dense element in the galaxy (caladium) is under silent attack. Plans are made by off-worlders to dissolve the unbreakable core using crude oil obtained from 19th century earth. Once the oil is refined the byproduct, gasoline will soften the caladium, allowing it to be collected. It is soon discovered the core is made from living beings created from caladium itself. The off-worlders employ a band of corrupt inhabitant’s to carry on this work. They find themselves in a constant struggle with a small coalition of Aonians bent on saving their home world. Both factions clash with the indestructible core creatures. With horrendous beast’s one step behind and deadly pitfalls ahead, the coalition struggle to finish their journey insuring their races survival.

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My Kingdom For a Marketer. My Kingdom For a Marketer. Oh, Loathe The Nasty Bugger, My Kingdom For a Marketer.

writing-man-geeze485x244I have written numerous short stories, a weekly blog and am in the latter stages of publishing my third novel. Even with this small amount of success, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the writing process.

If I were to break the process down as I understand it (taking the word understand with a grain of salt) then happy is the day I actually begin a new book. This sense of elation stays with me each morning as I arise just chomping at the bit to get started.

Once the book is complete, I move to what I call a continuity edit. That’s where I make sure the first half of the book jives with the second half of the book. For instance, if Hank marries Ramona and has a boy named Lucius in Chapter Three, then Hank dies in Chapter Fourteen, we can’t have Hank and Ramona returning from vacation with a daughter, Lucy, in Chapter Thirty Two. I realize the last sentence was three times longer than it should have been; however, you must remember this is my blog and I do what I want to do. Anyway, you get the jest of the continuity edit (which if I haven’t mentioned, I don’t particularly care for).

Next comes one of my lesser favorite parts of writing, even more so than the continuity edit, and that’s the line by line edit. I believe I would rather have someone set my head on fire then edit a book. Nuff said.

Then comes my absolute nemesis. The period of my life where I turn from Dr. Jekyll into the hideous Mr. Hyde and this little labor of love we refer to as “marketing” begins. With the mere mention of that accursed word (marketing) I feel my blood pressure rising and a wretched anger building from the bowels of my soul.

So with that, I shall drop an adequate number of Valium and make for my happy place.

So long until next week when we will explore…I ain’t figured it out yet, but I’ll throw something together, hopefully for your enjoyment.

The Valium is starting to kick in, so I’m off to my happ……

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