Tag Archives: phonics

If You Are One to Spell Words By Sounding Them Out (Phonics), Most People Would Say, “That’s a Good Thing.” After Reading This Post That May Change

qx3hlI thought it would be educational to write a blog using phonics…excuse me one moment…there we go. Please humor me as I begin my post once again.

I thawt it wood b edukshunal to rite a blog using fonix. B-ing a riter I do use this tool okkashunalee. In fakt I feel it wood be prudent to diskribe the riting process as it werks for me.

I yam not the tipe to use an outline befor I begin a new manuskript. I sit befor the m-tee kompewter  skreen with an idea and let it gro from ther. Wonse my idea kan manetane a firm hold then a storee line is kreated. Regardless of the jonra in witch the storee is ritten, I proseed in the same maner and simplee allow the storee to rite itself. Bi allowing mi noval this freedum, with me as the ankor, a smoother progreshun from start to finish kan b obtaned.

So u see how benafishal fonix kan b wen used korrekly and in kontext with itself. I kannot understan what happened to the fonix program. It used to be so populer that peeple were akchewly hooked on it. Ma-b this post wil bring an awareness of our need for this resorse. As u can see it is to valubul to lews. Spred the word. Don’t let this galant hero of words eskape our sivilized sivilazashun. I felt the need to drop all suddleties in this post. Pleese pardon mi zeel.

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Werds r Not Diffacult to Spel; u Just Need to No How it is Dun

schoolWhy? All I want to know is why? No one seems to know and no one seems to care, but as a writer, I have a very small pool with which to draw from.

I’m talking about words. So many that we use are worthless or at best, lazy, and we’re the culprits that allow them to get away with this travesty of literary injustice.

For instance: The letter “X.” The majority of words that begin with the letter “X” are pronounced as if they began with a “Z,” such as Zylophone, Zanadu and Zanthophyll. The only word that needs an “X” is x-ray, so let’s do the prudent thing and change it to Z-ray. Problem solved and a 25 word alphabet introduced.

Let’s investigate a little thing called phonics. Phonics is spelling the word as it is pronounced. Hmm…we seem to have a problem before we get started. Shouldn’t phonics be spelled fonix? I think we’ll stop our fonix studies right there.

Why do we spell some words in such a ridiculous fashion? It’s like we’re going around our elbow to get to our thumb. Case in point, why do we need a “B” on the end of thumb? Or for that matter, words that end in “EAU,” we can save two letters by just using an “O.”

Why is the word “minute” meaning sixty seconds on a clock spelled the same as “minute” meaning something very small?

How can I read it if I’ve already read it?

If we’ve got the letter “F” to make an “F” sound, then why do we need “PH”?

Could we exchange the suffix “IGHT” for “ITE” such as lite, nite, frite and the like.

Do we really need a “L” in could and would?

These are just a few examples of the dilemma I face each day. Can someone please pull me from this endless pit of mindless letters lest I sink further into the depths of literary despair?

Alas, exhaustion overtakes my very soul. Please allow these concepts to abide within your heart for a wayward letter is a terrible thing to waste.

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Would You Mind Repeating That? And this Time, in English?

Whether I’m penning a novel, a short story or a grocery store list, I have to wonder about the English language. Nay, what America has done to the English language? I have to wonder when a traveler from another country lands up on our hallowed shores, what is their first inkling? Finally, America “or” I’ve somehow landed on another planet.

United States of America

United States of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The clichés alone are enough to send the average visitor screaming back to their homeland. Put yourself in their place. You’ve taken the time to learn proper English. Your late flight lands in Los Angeles. You run for the gate to board the plane that will take you to your final destination, Chicago, only to find that the doors are closed and the plane is backing from the jet way.

The concierge says, “You must arrive at the gate on time; remember the early bird gets the worm.”

You ask, “When does the next plane leave?”

The concierge replies “Just sit tight and don’t kick up a fuss.”

You think, bird, worm, sit tight and don’t kick anything. What have I gotten myself into?

 Finally, you arrive at Chicago, recover your luggage and head for the taxi stand. You notice storm clouds overhead. You hear someone say, “It’s raining cats and dogs.” You run back inside, not wanting to be bombarded by falling felines and canine.

Anyway you get the picture…

Now, for my personal favorite: “phonics.”

The very name,” phonics,” is a misnomer in and of itself. If I were to spell the word “phonics” using phonics, it would look something like this, “fonix.”

And here’s a question that I would really love an answer to. Why are words that start with an “X,” pronounced like they begin with a “Z” such as “xylophone”? Or words that end with an “X,” pronounced like they finish with an “O,” such as, “Bordeaux”? Some would say that’s the French pronunciation. Well, the last time I looked I didn’t live in France.

Why are so many of our words rooted in Latin, when Latin is a dead and unspoken language? I guess you had to be there.

I bet it was something akin to our American revolution (which at the time was not a popular idea.) Many a plan was discussed under the cover of night in the city Taverns that laid the foundation for our independence. Can you imagine the pints that were pulled during these discussions? I imagine that not only would it have been enough to float the oldest commissioned battleship in our Navy, the U.S.S. Constitution, but several modern aircraft carriers as well.

I guess what I’m trying to get at with this analogy is that over the span of many years there had to be an inordinate amount of alcohol consumed to have created the language of these great United States of America.

It’s been said that American English is one of the most difficult languages to learn. For whatever reason, I find that a source of pride. What could be more appropriate than a complex language for such a wonderfully complex nation?

Post Script:  Kinda makes me leery when it comes to writing another novel with all the language faux pas.  Well, I guess if John Hancock can get his stuff published, then I’ll hang in there, too.

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