Tag Archives: paper

I Got Stuff, You Got Stuff, All God’s Children Got Stuff

It’s nice to take a break from running, shooting, being shot at, killing,and being killed. And, if it’s not that, it’s all those nasty creatures and critters, interplanetary annihilation, and just plain “stuff”.running with the bulls

That’s what it boils down to, the “stuff;” it’s always in direct correlation with the “stuff.”

Oops! Maybe I should explain. I’m talking about paper. The words, sentences, paragraphs, pages…….You know…the stuff!

We gather all the stuff that’s printed on the pages and smash the pages together. Then we take two additional pieces of paper that are thicker. Now these two pieces are very special. We print special information and pretty pictures, then smash them in front and behind all the many pieces of paper that have previously been smashed together.

Now, if you’ re worried that I’m trashing trees, most of what I’m describing is virtual paper, the kind that pops up on your computer screen… Although, today trees are grown for the express purpose of making paper. It could be that if we don’t use them as such, someone’s just gonna come along, cut them down, and sell them by the truckload to heat people’s homes.  That gives us a couple of choices. We can write on it, wipe with it, or breathe it in.

…but back to the stuff.

Once the smashing is complete, the stuff magically transforms into a book…….whew!…….What started out to be a respite from the rigors of writing, became just the opposite.

Boy, I sure do enjoy taking a break from writing, in order to work on my blog and interject some humor and perhaps a bit of silliness into my and my reader’s lives.

I know…… I know, that last segue was a bit forced, but let’s keep going, it’s bound to smooth out.

I had a notion to bring up things that make no sense. Have you ever heard of the saying, “plum e’t up with the stupid”? And the first thing to come to mind was “linear tactics.”

british fighting linesNow, you’re thinking you don’t know what this is, but you do, and unless you’re an expert on silly ways to die, in the eighteenth, nineteenth, and the beginning of the twentieth century, you’ll more than likely agree with me.

Why in the world would you stand in a line, several men deep, facing another line in a more or less identical configuration and then take turns firing chunks of lead at each other, as if you were the next to volley a shuttlecock in a badminton tournament?

I have explored the reasons behind this particular battle tactic and when I think of the men in charge of the men standing on the line, I go running and screaming back to my safe word: “stupid.” Nuff said.

Our next lesson in, “I wonder why they do the things they do?”

This particular section is an all-encompassing series of events. For instance, what would possess an otherwise healthy group of young men to jump in front of a healthy group of 2000 pound bovines, equipped with ready-made weapons and run?

Well…… I don’t know.

By the same token another group of young men in a different part of the world jump on to what looks like a giant Sequoia that’s been stripped of its foliage and cut in half. Guess what they do then? Right, push it down a hill. Now about all I can glean from this carnage is to hang on, even as fellow competitors are falling off while others are trying to climb on, being dragged and run over, as this huge piece of unstoppable lumber continues downhill. That there’s fun with a capital ‘F’ and a double ‘un’.

What I am able to conclude from these two annual happenings is that everyone who doesn’t die is a winner and with an added bonus…… no compensation.log riding

I guess what it all boils down to is everyone has different ideas of what fun is…and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Just the same, I’m going to hang out with my safe word. You never can tell when a little bit of stupid may come in handy.

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Pass the Mustard Please

Pommes frites med ketchup

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Many times when I write, I find myself pausing to reflect over what I’ve written. Usually this has something to do with the story itself. However, there are instances when my hesitation is due to a situation in my life that parallels that point in my novel. And then there are those times when my dillydallying instructs me in the ways of total irrelevant, off-the-wall, nonsensical ideas that lead to my posting a blog on things that I wonder about, not including myself.

Take that wonderfully red, tomato and vinegar-based condiment we all know and love. It’s the perfect accompaniment to french fries, hamburgers, hot dogs…I even know people who use it on eggs. It’s none other than… I’m not exactly sure what to call it.

 Allow me to step back for a moment. I’ve come to the point in my life where I can now safely consider myself middle-aged. That, in and of itself, is of no concern… well… maybe just a little, but more importantly it gives me a wealth of knowledge that only years can bring… well… maybe not that many years… and maybe not that much knowledge. I guess the best I can hope for is to be half smart or half stupid. You make the call. Anyway I digress; better get back on track.

When I was but a youngster I recall this magical concoction known as, “catsup.” Of course, today it is commonly called, “ketchup.” Come to think of it, I’ve always referred to it as ketchup and can’t actually think of anyone who called it catsup. From what I understand, after an exhaustive search, ketchup was more commonly known as catsup only in the southern United States. In fact, I can only remember seeing the word catsup one time printed on a catsup bottle… In conclusion, maybe you should disregard all that you have just read, for I feel as though I have somehow dropped thirty IQ points for writing it.

The vote is unanimous:  Half stupid

I have time for one more tidbit of stuff. As I have said, we need to be good stewards of this beautiful planet that God has given us. This includes a multitude of things that we need to be mindful of, such as, pollution, conservation and being kind to one another, just to name a few. As I look at my computer screen, I notice the piece of electronic paper I’m writing on and how important conservation efforts have been to preserve our woodland resources.

Conservation actually began with Teddy Roosevelt and has grown (pun intended) into what it is today. As important as it is to keep these conservation methods in place, we should also remember what a wonderful resource trees are and not be afraid to utilize them. The beauty and structure they bring to homes and multitudes of other buildings is unattainable without their contribution. In fact, there are trees planted just for pulpwood to manufacture paper. Believe it or not, there are more trees now than one hundred years ago.

Trees are a renewable resource.  We must continue to plant more than we harvest and leave old-growth forests alone. Of course, there are always a few folks who won’t take, “yes,” for an answer.

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