Tag Archives: lawyers

If Useless Information was at One Time Useful and Used to Accomplish Useful Things Then Who Decided it Was Useless?

halloween_decorating_ideas_for_small_bathrooms_from_bathroom_bliss_by_rotator_rod_6_grandeWith as many words as I spew out each day, occasionally I’ll wax poetic and my poor brain will begin to wander. Where it wanders is anybody’s guess.

On this particular day, it decided that a trip laden with useless information was its destination.

Let us delve deeper into the abyss, past the cobwebs and detour sign, which is my cranium, and gather the aforementioned information.

Here comes one now, it says, “lawyers banned in all fifty states from advertising. The ban was lifted in 1977.”… Too much, too much, this must not be!

Now we are in a place where the cobwebs are at their thickest. There’s another one entwined within the webs. “Why do some motocross drivers beat their bike with a riding crop? …Beating inanimate object beyond ludicrous, must go!

Look! There’s one lying in the muck and mire of my sad empty brain cavity.  Everyone knows the Wicked Witch of the East died due to a drop in the housing market, but did you know her sister,  the Wicked Witch of the West had a severe… and I mean a severe, twice personified body odor problem? She hung around with monkeys and never took a bath, being as  water led to dissolution problems…  Movie debut in 1939. On a quiet night you can still smell bubbling b.o.

I guess when you really get down to it, there’s no accounting for taste… or for that matter smell.     

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Should I Consult an Attorney or Purchase “Lawyer in a Box” for my Computer? Decisions, Decisions. Well, I Reckon I’ll go With The Box.

from-machetes-to-tanks-12-lawyer-ads-that-are-just-outrageousI learned to keep my use of adjectives to a minimum when writing. It’s so easy to add unnecessary descriptive words to a manuscript as you jauntily tap, tap, tap on the key board. Once you finish a page or two and return to read the magnificent sentences you have electronically deposited on your virtual paper, you cringe. It seems as though you have a page littered with “l-y’s” and a few extra words to hold the substance of your writing (namely l-y’s) together.

It’s similar to things we find living day to day in the real world. For instance: There is a commercial broadcast across the airways that claims you can use their product to produce legal documents. I believe they call themselves “Legal Zip Zap” or something of the sort. You are led to believe this service is meant to save you money bypassing the need for a lawyer. If you read the fine print (being as I’m a fine print kinda guy) it will tell you “Legal Zip Zap” is not (and I’m paraphrasing) a substitute for legal advice, from who? That’s right, a lawyer. Unfortunately, the fine print does not appear on the screen long enough to have any chance of reading all of the tiny words. I understand you can receive help from an attorney (notice how I wrote attorney instead of lawyer?…pretty cool, huh?) supplied to you by “Legal Zip Zap.” Now for the fine print and once again I am paraphrasing. These attorneys and/or lawyers must be purchased ahead of time. I guess I’ll begin pausing the television during these commercials so I can get the dope on the small print, me being, as I have said before, a small print kinda guy.

I guess what it comes down to is, avoid an excessive amount of adjectives and stay away from questionable lawyers, all politicians, and the “if it bleeds it leads” media, in that order.

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