Tag Archives: Lawnmower

Let Me See You Roll This Up And Smoke It

It’s time to gas up the lawnmowers, string up the weed eaters, oil the hedge trimmers and sharpen, grease or otherwise, fix any other lawn maintenance tool you may own. Then again, if you have a mind to purchase each of these appliances in a gas-less model you can forgo the petroleum based fuel and slap a fully charged battery into the power slot.    

“Is it that time of year?” you may ask.

“Why, yes, it is,” your neighbor, might say. “The time has come to beautify your lawn, for the next 3 to 4 months.”

For some, grooming the lawn is no small task. At the proper times, they aerate, fertilize, seed, water, cut, weed, trim, water, edge, re-fertilize, re-seed, water, and repeat each week until frost. Then, there are others (me being one) that never plant a grass seed, but cut and weed-eat the greenery that has taken over their lawn. Usually, these lawns contain a wide variety of weeds, but it still looks pretty good to me.

Lawn care has come a long way since its conception. A scythe, which is what was used to gather wheat, could be employed to knock the height off the vegetation around the house. Then, the reel type mower came along in the early 19th century, which could be pushed over the grass making a bad job slightly less so. I remember my father using a sling blade to trim the grass since a weed eater, as far as I know, had not been invented. Many times, we don’t realize how good we have it, especially when we’re tooling around on that hog lawn tractor.

There is one thing I don’t believe I’ve ever included in any of my writings, and that is  the lawn. Hmm . . . don’t exactly know how I’d fit one on another world  . . . maybe I could . . . no that wouldn’t work . . . how about . . .?


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No Matter How You Clip It, It’s Still Gonna Grow Back

English: Reel lawn mower

English: Reel lawn mower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As springtime wanes, we begin our downhill push to the summer solstice. This phenomenon happens every year on June 21, marking the first day of summer. I am saddened by the return of the hot and humid weather, but hold tight to the realization that fall is a mere three miserable months away and soon followed by the icy grip of winter.

As you can probably tell I tend to lean more toward the cool weather, but let’s take a moment to examine exactly what it is that makes the warm weather months so desirable to so many people. I begin to ponder this notion. We take vacations during the summer. Hmm… But that’s something we can do in the winter also. We can swim, fish, and participate in varied water sports during the summer. Once again these are all activities that can be held during the winter months, albeit on occasion, ice would have to serve as a substitute for liquid H2O.

The one thing I can muster is that grass must be cut during the summer and lies dormant during the winter. It is for this reason that lawn care will be the subject of this post, and what could be more appropriate when speaking of lawn care than the almighty, the all-powerful, lawnmower.

Now long ago in days of yore manly men were perfectly happy shaving the tops of their medieval lawns with scythes, sickles and other barbaric blades of mayhem and destruction. Then one historic day in the early nineteenth century an engineer working in a textile factory developed the first mower of the lawn. It was very similar in construction to the un-motorized real type mowers still in use today.

Then down through the preceding years, namely 1870 and 1885 vast improvements were made, making this mower of the lawn much easier to use. Not until that glorious day in 1919 when the first gasoline powered mower was constructed had such a liberating device graced the annals of mandom. Needless to say the rest is history. Today we even have lawnmowers that are built for racing and travel close to the century mark in miles per hour.

But I digress. Let us continue shall we?

Now I like a freshly clipped lawn just as much as the next guy, but that’s about as far as it goes. When it comes to my yard I’m not a stickler as many are. I don’t aerate, nor do I fertilize. Any water the grass receives falls from the sky. I don’t spread pesticides, insecticides, weed killers or any other ”cides” on my lawn, although I have been known to consider treating my entire yard with Roundup. I don’t even bother with planting grass. I just cut what grows, which by now is a wonderfully diverse selection of weeds.

In short, if I gave my writing endeavors the same attention that I do my lawn, my novels would be in a sad state of affairs to say the least.

So in an attempt to back out of this post gracefully, I’ll leave you with this bit of advice. Drain the gas from that newfangled lawnmower; invest in a solid scythe–a sharp blade being a must. Spend the summer hacking away at the grass the old-fashioned way…A million medieval weed whacker’s can’t all be wrong.

Post script: A scythe is one of those things Death carries…Just so you’ll know if a cloaked figure carrying a large metal blade turns in your direction, he’s probably not coming to cut the grass.

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