Tag Archives: humor
July 19, 2021 · 2:51 PM
April 26, 2021 · 10:39 AM
My latest novel centers around time travel. There are countless ways a story line can travel when encased in such a vast subject. After penning this manuscript, I came to many conclusions; the most important of which was how happy I am that time travel does not exist. Boy am I glad that time travel doesn’t exist.
Einstein postulated that time was relative and not constant. By my way of thinking, neither one is possible. The problem you run into by traveling temporally are the endless timelines which could contain an endless supply of the same individual seconds apart heading in the same direction.
Add this to the timelines traveling in different directions and you end up with an infinite number of travelers, travel ways all co-existing in a mish-mash so cluttered with stuff it would seem impossible to move.
This in turn would lead to such a temporal traffic jam, the likes of which have never been seen nor ever will be due to the influx of new temporal travelers.
Since this explanation is so tiring, I’ll leave it there and return to my own safe timeline.
The next time you hear the word “time travel,” run! Don’t stop and ponder how interesting a trip through time may be, just do yourself a favor and run!
Have a great week. Don’t plan any unusual trips and may God bless you richly.
April 19, 2021 · 11:09 AM
We are approaching the time to begin planting our summer vegetable gardens. I remember as a young fella spending summers in the dirt with my grandfather. We would plant everything from Asparagus to Zucchini to Hot Peppers.
As a matter of fact, I acquired my love for Hot Peppers from my Grandfather. Every year we had a bumper crop of Cayenne Peppers, which is still my favorite Pepper today. Coming in at 30,000 Scoville units, they’re about as hot as I want to get.
How I came to love the oil that gave Hot Peppers their sting (capsaicin) is a funny but painful story. When but a toddler, during a cookout, I happened to notice a bright red long thing sitting among the food. It looked pretty good to me, so it was an easy matter to grab and insert it into my mouth. The next ten or so minutes were excruciating for a little one such as I. Once the pain subsided, my love affair with “hurts so good” had begun. It seems eating hot peppers releases endorphins in the brain which is why pepper lovers seem a bit masochistic
After us men had toiled for months to produce the crop, my grandmother would work her fingers to the bone canning the summer’s harvest producing numerous jars of vegetables. The one thing I still cannot understand, is why do we put vegetables in jars and then call them canned?
Something to think about while you plan your Pepper crop.
Have a fantastic week, and may God bless!
April 12, 2021 · 10:32 AM
I’ve made mention more than once that I am an author. Well, I came to the conclusion some time ago that being an author, along with two dollars, will buy me a cup of coffee, depending on where I go.
What I’m getting to, and pardon this around your elbow to get to your thumb segue, is no matter your occupation be it a doctor, carpenter, retail worker, or pipe fitter, we are all appreciative of indoor plumbing.
I know we’ve all had the pleasure of using a port-a-potty during outdoor events, and what a sheer delight during the summer at a crowded venue.
Just think, not so many years ago an outhouse was the norm. I’ve never lived in a home without plumbing; however, have been to those who were without. Not optimal conditions to relieve oneself, but folks do with what they have. As a matter of fact, the outhouse came with its share of danger. Case in point: my grandfather was bit in his derriere by a black widow spider, proving that even going to the bathroom can be deadly. FYI, he made a total recovery.
I can’t resist finishing this post with a little slice of heaven I saw as a child. To keep from having to wander into the backyard at night, especially during the winter, a device referred to as a slop-jar would be incorporated. This bucket of (use your imagination) would be emptied each morning.
Please don’t take this as a slight to anyone who grew up without indoor plumbing . . . it’s just the way things were.
Have a wonderful week, may God bless, and thank goodness for innovations that make our lives better.
March 30, 2021 · 9:59 AM
I’ve been writing this blog for quite a few years. No doubt over the course of those years, I have repeated the subject matter more than once. Not to say there is a lack of fodder, just that I am unable to keep up with the hundreds of my previous posts. I guess being a human being makes me a prime candidate for the human condition.
Some of my best entries have been those grounded in the simple everyday happenings we all experience frequently.
I lean towards humor and shy away from the woes of today. One thing I cannot tolerate concerning the press is their long held mantra, “if it bleeds it leads.” This world has its problems, but that type of thinking is too archaic for all the good that thrives around us today.
I get a kick out of exploring the technological advances of our time. For instance: with the multitude of signals traveling through the airways, be it cell phone, television in its many different arrays, radio, garage door openers, and the different appliances that operate on wireless technology, including the internet. How do the transmission waves keep from becoming intertwined? And what if these signals were visible? Kind of a whole new ballgame, don’t you think?
Or just for the purpose of supposing, how did people in the 19th century stand one another in the summertime, wearing woolen clothing?
Just a few interesting tidbits to think about. My aim is to bring a smile to someone’s face. For what can be better than passing on that contagious piece of grace at the beginning of each week.
Make it a great one and may God bless!
March 8, 2021 · 10:25 AM
What do you think about sound? Kind of an odd question, wouldn’t you say? Of course, there is everyday noise: television, telephone, automobiles, conversation, and the like. What I haven’t made clear when I say the word sound is the type. Now, the type is emitted by what hangs on walls, sits on the floor, covers your ears, and rides around in your ride.
I’m speaking about the world of music and how we as individuals like to interpret the way it enters our outer ear, travels through the pinna, vibrates the eardrum, sets the hammer, anvil, and stirrup into motion to produce the tunes we love to hear.
In my writer’s room, I have seven speakers ranging in size from a set of three-way, two-foot tall Kenway speakers to a small set of (I don’t knows) no more than eight inches tall, that sound as good as the Kenway’s. All of these sound producers adorn my walls, whether setting on a corner shelf or on a flat shelf in the middle of a wall. I can get the back of the house hopping with loud rock-n-roll when I take a notion, or just a nice full sound to enjoy a movie, plus a sound bar to produce light background noise that I find necessary when I write.
Now, that all bases are covered, I’ll be getting back to work. I left a character hanging in a rather precarious situation, and some of these make-believes can get rather cantankerous.
Have a wonderful week, God bless, and do yourself a favor, crank up a tune every now and then. We all need to blow the butterflies out from time to time.
February 22, 2021 · 8:41 AM
I completed my latest novel. After performing rewrites and edits twice, I sent it to my editor. Once she completed doing what editors do, she returned it to me. I perused the manuscript one more time, and then sent it to my publisher, perceiving the possibility of a tangled mess.
My publisher was pleased, but in her great wisdom, she suggested a number of changes that would take the novel a notch above its present level.
I was on board and jumped in with both feet. She said it would be a lot of work, and indeed it was; however, this also included the tedious untangling of stuff.
You could probably relate to this ordeal better if I were to make a comparison.
How about a bird’s nest? Not, the type that an avian constructs and moves into until the kids finally leave and the parents become true empty-nesters . . . (hysterical laughter) . . . but the kind a novice fisherman gets on their first attempt using a bait casting reel. If you’ve been there, nuff said.
What about that fateful day when your spouse announces, “It’s time to decorate the Christmas tree!” And guess what? . . . You’re in charge of the lights! I’ve often wondered how a single and sometimes multiple strands of lights can transform into a knot just sitting in a box for the better part of a year.
Ever tried to untangle a 50 or 100 foot extension cord that’s been wound around someone’s elbow and between their thumb and forefinger multiple times? I believe I’ve said all that needs to be said . . . oh, and one more thing remotely related to the last few paragraphs but instrumental to the post, a good publisher is worth their weight in gold. For they not only care about book sales, but for the author as well. And, may I say, my publisher is quite a few steps above good!
Have a stellar week, God bless, and as you reach for that ball of twine that fell behind your tool box and began to unravel . . . stop! . . . life’s too short for the aggravation. Buy a new ball.
February 16, 2021 · 10:33 AM
Even More Frequently, Words Demand that They be Recognized for Their Unique Contribution to the Written Word
A post or two ago, I wrote about the ins and outs of the letter ‘X’. Certain letters stand out and command special attention. Even more frequently, words demand that they be recognized for their unique contribution to the written word.
Case in point: the multi-purpose word, “take.” At first glance, you see nothing special about this word that would lead you to believe it deserves accolades for anything. Then, you delve deeper into this seemingly ordinary collection of letters and perhaps you’ll begin to see.
“Take,” you say. “Take what?” With those two words you’re on your way. Take a nap, take a break, take a powder, take away, take off, take a bath, take a sample, take a little, take a lot, take a test . . . I believe you get the idea.
How about in the case of travel? Take a vacation, take a hike, take a cab, take a ride, take a train . . . I think I’ve made my point.
Then, once again, if you happen to be of questionable character: Take the money, take the gold, take the silver . . .nuff said.
And, one last time as we highlight the medical field: Take a pill, take your temperature, take an x-ray, take blood, take a cold and so forth and so on.
As you can see, the four letters, “t-a-k-e,” come together, producing an extremely versatile word. So take time, whether you take a minute, or take a second, to take a look at taking a gander at this utilitarian collection of letters that form the word, “take.”
Have a great week, may God bless, and by all means take care!
January 11, 2021 · 10:47 AM
My Web Log Soon Began to Spread From The World of Writing, to the World, of One Might Say, The World
When I started this blog several years ago it was meant to be geared around writing. As fate would have it, my web log soon began to spread from the world of writing, to the world, of one might say, the world.
For instance: I thought I would pull something out of the air about which we all have heard but seldom gave much thought. A classic example is, “What came first the chicken or the egg?” Although this adage is older than dirt, I’m sure at one time it raised a perplexing question.
Just as, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” I guess you could take either side of both adages and make a case for each.
I would much rather toss something new into the pot such as, “If a groundhog died in the woods and no one was around, would it still exude a smell?” Now, I’ll admit this is much like the tree, but with different players.
Or how about, “Is half of forever still forever?”
Maybe this will spark some interest: “If all of the clocks in the world stopped simultaneously, would it affect time as we know it, since we would have no way of telling time?”
And the creme de la crème: “If a bell rang in a mortuary after all but the deceased had gone for the day, would the tiny bones in the ears of the dead (hammer anvil and stirrup) still collect the sound waves?”
Just a little food for thought . . . and by the way, can anyone tell me why the dining areas in the military are called “mess halls?”
Have a great week, may God bless, and thanks for reading what flows from my brain.
January 1, 2021 · 1:26 PM