Tag Archives: humor

Perceiving The Possibility Of A Tangled Mess

I completed my latest novel. After performing rewrites and edits twice, I sent it to my editor. Once she completed doing what editors do, she returned it to me. I perused the manuscript one more time, and then sent it to my publisher, perceiving the possibility of a tangled mess.

My publisher was pleased, but in her great wisdom, she suggested a number of changes that would take the novel a notch above its present level.

I was on board and jumped in with both feet. She said it would be a lot of work, and indeed it was; however, this also included the tedious untangling of stuff.

You could probably relate to this ordeal better if I were to make a comparison.

How about a bird’s nest? Not, the type that an avian constructs and moves into until the kids finally leave and the parents become true empty-nesters . . . (hysterical laughter) . . . but the kind a novice fisherman gets on their first attempt using a bait casting reel. If you’ve been there, nuff said.

What about that fateful day when your spouse announces, “It’s time to decorate the Christmas tree!” And guess what? . . . You’re in charge of the lights!  I’ve often wondered how a single and sometimes multiple strands of lights can transform into a knot just sitting in a box for the better part of a year.

Ever tried to untangle a 50 or 100 foot extension cord that’s been wound around someone’s elbow and between their thumb and forefinger multiple times? I believe I’ve said all that needs to be said . . . oh, and one more thing remotely related to the last few paragraphs but instrumental to the post, a good publisher is worth their weight in gold. For they not only care about book sales, but for the author as well. And, may I say, my publisher is quite a few steps above good!

Have a stellar week, God bless, and as you reach for that ball of twine that fell behind your tool box and began to unravel . . . stop! . . . life’s too short for the aggravation. Buy a new ball.

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Even More Frequently, Words Demand that They be Recognized for Their Unique Contribution to the Written Word

A post or two ago, I wrote about the ins and outs of the letter ‘X’. Certain letters stand out and command special attention. Even more frequently, words demand that they be recognized for their unique contribution to the written word.

Case in point: the multi-purpose word, “take.” At first glance, you see nothing special about this word that would lead you to believe it deserves accolades for anything. Then, you delve deeper into this seemingly ordinary collection of letters and perhaps you’ll begin to see.

“Take,” you say. “Take what?” With those two words you’re on your way. Take a nap, take a break, take a powder, take away, take off, take a bath, take a sample, take a little, take a lot, take a test . . . I believe you get the idea.

How about in the case of travel? Take a vacation, take a hike, take a cab, take a ride, take a train . . . I think I’ve made my point.

Then, once again, if you happen to be of questionable character: Take the money, take the gold, take the silver . . .nuff said.

And, one last time as we highlight the medical field: Take a pill, take your temperature, take an x-ray, take blood, take a cold and so forth and so on.

As you can see, the four letters, “t-a-k-e,” come together, producing an extremely versatile word. So take time, whether you take a minute, or take a second, to take a look at taking a gander at this utilitarian collection of letters that form the word, “take.”

Have a great week, may God bless, and by all means take care!

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My Web Log Soon Began to Spread From The World of Writing, to the World, of One Might Say, The World

When I started this blog several years ago it was meant to be geared around writing. As fate would have it, my web log soon began to spread from the world of writing, to the world, of one might say, the world.

For instance: I thought I would pull something out of the air about which we all have heard but seldom gave much thought. A classic example is, “What came first the chicken or the egg?” Although this adage is older than dirt, I’m sure at one time it raised a perplexing question.

Just as, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” I guess you could take either side of both adages and make a case for each.

I would much rather toss something new into the pot such as, “If a groundhog died in the woods and no one was around, would it still exude a smell?” Now, I’ll admit this is much like the tree, but with different players.

Or how about, “Is half of forever still forever?”

Maybe this will spark some interest: “If all of the clocks in the world stopped simultaneously, would it affect time as we know it, since we would have no way of telling time?”

And the creme de la crème: “If a bell rang in a mortuary after all but the deceased had gone for the day, would the tiny bones in the ears of the dead (hammer anvil and stirrup) still collect the sound waves?”

Just a little food for thought . . . and by the way, can anyone tell me why the dining areas in the military are called “mess halls?”

Have a great week, may God bless, and thanks for reading what flows from my brain.

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It Seems The Letter ‘X’ is Only Used in the Word ‘X-ray’.

I’ve been writing for a while, and in all those years, I have found the alphabet has served me well. However, I find myself tripping over a letter I seldom use, but still question. It seems the letter ‘X’ is only used in the word ‘X-ray’. Oh, I’m sure there may be another instance or two, but you can bet they are few and far between.

In most instances, the letter ‘X’ is pronounced as ‘Z’.

Why don’t we just cut to the chase, change X-ray to Z-ray, dump the ‘X’ and lighten our load by one letter that we’ve been carrying since the 7th century? Our alphabet was, of course, derived from that dead language, Latin, that no one speaks, but everyone uses. In fact, so many of our words are derived from Latin, I suppose you could say that we actually speak Latin.2, instead of English.

One place ‘X’ = ‘Z’ can be seen by the pound is television. With the influx of new drugs hitting the airways every day, many of the names attached to these pharmaceuticals contain an ‘X.’  In some cases, the name will be spelled with an ‘X’ and a ‘Z’. I’m sure you know how these letters are pronounced.

Just a little tidbit to begin your week, and since I mentioned the upcoming week, be sure to have a great one!

God Bless and keep you safe!

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Well, I Finally Believe I Have Discovered What and Where This Elusive Race of “They” Reside

Phrases are part of our everyday lives. Why certain phrases have become so entrenched within our vernacular is an oddity in and of itself. For instance, “they say.” If you think about how often the phrase is used, “they say” everything from A-Z. But who are they? For something that demands so much of our attention, you’d think we’d know. Well, I finally believe I have discovered what and where this elusive race of “they” reside.

Thirty degrees above the horizon in the Northeastern sky is Bob’s Nebula, just six light years to the leeward side of the dwarf star liquor to go. Within this bundle of mist floats a semi-circular conference table. This piece of fifth dimensional furniture is constructed from an exotic silver metal, worthy of appearing in any blockbuster science fiction production.

Five ancient, slumped-over members dressed in outlandish garb  belong to a consortium that evaluate phrases and deem said phrases worthy to carry the stamp of approval to be prefaced by “they say.” And, there you have the long and short of it.

The next time you hear or utter those two unmistakable words, “they say,” and follow it with something like, “a frog will boil to death floating in a pot of H2O if you bring the water temperature up slowly,” take a look to the Northeastern sky and remember from where it came.

And by the by, a frog will not hang around in water until it boils, no matter how slowly you increase the temperature, even amphibians are smarter than that.

Have a great week, Christmas is on the way. Stay safe and may God bless!

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You Can Use a Metaphor and a Simile to Create an Analogy. That One Sentence Makes My Head Hurt

In last week’s post, I touched on comparisons i.e. metaphors, similes, and analogies. You can delve so deep into these categories, such as: metaphors are like similes as you can use a metaphor and a simile to create an analogy. That one sentence makes my head hurt, so I’ll back off. When I started this post, I wanted to say how some tree leaves in the fall can be similar to writing, as when a leaf clings to its host so tenaciously it refuses to release until the following spring.

As an author I tend to cling to ideas, releasing only when I foresee a specific notion becoming a detriment; it’s then, I run away screaming.

Writing can be a tricky mistress. One moment it’s your friend, fawning over you, enticing your being to know you rank among the greats and the next forcing you into the realization that your words would not be worthy of a bubblegum wrapper.

In short, I write because I love to write, as I’m sure, if you are an author, you do as well. Science Fiction, Fantasy, Christian Fiction, along with each genre I write are a good fit and meld with the way my mind works. I will have to admit though from time to time, I wonder about my cranial function.

In short, I find it best if I hang to the creative side of writing and allow extensive grammar and items such as metaphors, similes, and analogies to reside in the hands of others.

Have a great week, may God bless and don’t take yourself too seriously, because no one else does!

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Now and Again, Things I Would Term, “Idiosyncrasies” Pop Into My Brain as I Write

Now and again, things I would term, “idiosyncrasies,” pop into my brain as I write. It came to me this week that I would combine a number of them into my post and see if you had the same insights into my perceived conundrums. I guess, in words we both can understand, I should restate these items are as out of place or so strange as to warrant further investigation.

My first offering is Latin. I frequently read that Latin is a dead language and no longer spoken. Now, I can get behind this, for I never hear someone in everyday life speaking this dialogue that no longer exists . . . or do I? An argument can easily be made to the contrary, that in America we speak English, a language that an overwhelming amount of root words are derived from Latin. It seems to me the language we call dead, is anything but.

My next fuel for fodder begins with metaphors and similes. Two words that are so similar one can be used to define the other. Throw in analogies along with euphemisms, and you have four words that in one way or the other are tied in with the word similar. Go figure, only in American English,

I would like to conclude with a few examples of spelling words in such a way as to make one think mind altering drugs were used when these words were developed. How about “kernel? Makes sense right? Then, why do we have to clutter things up with “colonel”? Why does “minute” reflect time and “minute” reflect size? You or I can “core” an apple, but if we join the Marines we’re in the “Corps”. Did you know that the dictionary’s definition of “suttle” is a frequent misspelling of “subtle?” If a doe is a deer then why is “dough” “needed” or “kneaded” to make bread?

If you figure this post out, please let me “know,” in “no” uncertain terms because the lack of knowledge can be a “tuff” and in some cases a very “tough” pill to swallow.

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Just When You Think It’s Over, Here We Go Again

Just when you think it’s over, here we go again, at least for those who live in the great state of Georgia. There is going to be a runoff for two Senate seats around the fifth of January. On the news, it was mentioned that the state would be inundated with political commercials until then. If you read my last two posts, you are aware of my distaste for political ads and total disdain for politics in general. I wanted to make sure that I finished what I started, hence the beginning of this post.

I will now attempt to segue from politics into something that makes more sense–leaf removal. I have not a clue how the world revolves in your neighborhood, but in mine, we are overwhelmed with noise pollution from leaf blowers. Saturday mornings and most weekday evenings, (when dry) remind me of an outdoor chainsaw convention.

I’m not trying to direct all the blame throughout the neighborhood without absorbing my part, for my leaves have to be removed, also. I guess the futile part of this plan is on average within 24 to 48 hours of said removal my yard is covered once again in leaves. Now, if you are comparing pros and cons, the con would be a yard full of leaves; on the other hand one distinct pro might be a yard of totally different leaves.

Think of the fun with a new carpet of color adorning your front and back lawns.

Good times!

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Political Adventure, A Foreboding Of Things To Come

This is the week of political adventure, a foreboding of things to come.

It just never ends. As I mentioned last week, I despise politics, so around mid-day on Super Tuesday, I noticed my first epiphany, political ads had come to an end. Oh joy, oh bliss, oh rapture, thought I.

Then, much to my chagrin, came Wednesday morn–no Prez. Even amidst this turmoil, to my delight, no political commercials throughout the day and into the night. Then, sunrise Thursday morning came, sporting no commercials of the political persuasion, but still no Prez.

Friday morning dawned much the same, only, now, we are told there is the possibility of shenanigans. Oh my, don’t tell me there is corruption within the hallowed halls of our political system, for that would be unheard of. Did I mention I really, really don’t care for politics?

Then, Saturday comes and whaddaya know? We finally have a Prez. I can’t understand why anyone would want the job, but I do wish him the best. 

Now, it looks as though my greatest predicament will be deciding the pecking order of the lowest vocation to which one can sink. Right now, politicians are nudging out the ambulance-chasing lawyers for the first to be last.

However, on a serious note, I love this country and pray that God will continue to shine upon her.

Oh, and just in case I didn’t bring it to your attention . . . I loathe politics.

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In the Throes of Super Tuesday

Every four years, we find ourselves in the throes of Super Tuesday; meaning, we are electing our Commander-and-Chief for the next four years. I realize politics is not the best subject to discuss; however, I choose to trod into this danger zone regardless of the backlash.

We must begin by looking at each candidate. On the one hand, there is candidate number one. While on the other hand, is candidate number two.

I believe our Constitutional Republic is the best this world has to offer. I also feel fortunate to live in the United States of America and will proudly state my position at any time.

I must preface any further discussion by stating, “I despise politics.” I can’t think of many things I despise more than politics. (In the past, I have noted that I live about two hours from downtown D.C. When I travel north on 95, I feel my I.Q. dropping the closer I get to Washington. I rate politicians among the dregs of society right along with ambulance chasing lawyers and motivational speakers.) Even though the political process is abhorrent to me, due to the scandals, kickbacks, money grubbing liars, and all around nasty people we put into office, I encourage you to vote on Tuesday.

I know, I know . . . I need to get off the fence and let my true stance be known.

Have a great week and just think, no more political ads after Tuesday! And after all of this political commotion, “May God bless us, everyone!” (to coin a phrase from Tiny Tim.)

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