Tag Archives: Frustration

Frustrated With Your Computer? Valium, Water, Swallow, Repeat. If Frustration Returns, Go Heavy on the Repeat .

frustrated-writerI don’t know about you, but to me marketing is a dirty word. So filthy, in fact, I should ban myself from using it in my blogs.

Have you ever become frustrated when trying to…I don’t know…let’s say for argument’s sake, post a picture along with your text? Simple, right?

Of course, I’ve done it a thousand times. You simply place your text on Facebook, Twitter, E-Mail or whatever social media you are using, add your picture and post. You’re now free to continue spreading the word about your latest novel…wait a minute, where’s the picture?

You’ve loaded this picture many times prior to this; now suddenly, it has disappeared, not from one location but several…wait a minute, I found it. Unfortunately, it’s in a place that makes it difficult to retrieve. No matter, since when does an inanimate object stop me? I’ll simply “save as,” and place it in another folder where it will be at my disposal.

Dum-dee-dum-dum-dum, I happily hum away waiting for my picture to appear. Katie Bar the door my picture isn’t here!

It was there. I saw it there. I know I saw it there. I even said, “There it is,” but I need it here and here is the place that it’s not!

I check the original e-mail from my publisher and cannot locate the download. I even make a copy of the book cover picture (the one that was there and not here) and attempt to paste this frustrating collection of digital dots onto my marketing document. Naught comes through but the text denoting the name of the picture.

I spend close to four hours trying to include this ready-made stroke along with my marketing text. Alas, it throws me to the ground and stomps my poor little self into submission.

That’s when I reach for my blog. The one thing I can count on in this literary world fraught with danger, despair, defeat and an all-around lack of niceness.

Worry not; tomorrow, I will be on the trail of the elusive “Rising Tide” book cover image…AND I WILL FIND IT!

Truth be known, the real reason I quit searching was to save my computer hardware from destruction by my own hand.

See what a single little picture can do to a grown man? Hang in there till next week and remember, a hard drive is a terrible thing to waste.

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Punctuation Punctuation Such a Foreign Word to Me

When you re writing do you ever have trouble with punctuation   I ll have to admit that on occasion it gives me a bit of a tussle   punctuationKind of like a pebble in your shoe   an itch you can’t quite reach   a grand piano falling at a rate of 32 feet per second per second until reaching terminal velocity the moment it impacts your head

You could probably say that grammatically I know sentences from start to finish   They start with a capital letter and end with a period   And before you say anything I never write a sentence that asks a question or in any way implies excitement

In all honesty I do alright with the basics but the other day I ran into something called a dangling participle grappling between a minus A coalesced and fragmentalized through the infinite sum of 2+2 equals the vernal equinox squared twice

Allow me to sum up my thoughts and feelings of punctuation in a poem I have entitled   please beat me with a baseball bat

There once was an author named Lynn
who wrote books with paper and pen
punctuate when you write said his peers with delight
else you re done before you begin

He stood tall against the assault
by golly it s not all his fault
these colons and commas and questionable marks
are determined to beat him right down to his heart

But these cads shall not prevail
my simple solution shant fail
they’ll be no more the wiser when I sneaks up behinds em
and deal the death blow were the sunshine don’t show

And now on the street its high noon
a show downs beginning to loom
the question mark laughs the commas just sneer
each one not knowing their end is so near

Then our hero Lynn makes a stand
with a number two pencil firmly in hand
he erases each line leaving nothing behind
the desperate struggle etched deep in his mind

As he saunters away in the midday sun he sees a small dot attempting to run
he picks the dot up and thinks in advance he shoves the black period into his pants
every beginning needs an end so i ll hold on to this and use it again
as for the rest of you guys you re just dust in the wind

So check out this post it s really quite weird I did the whole thing with just one period.

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Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away

Old broken TV

Old broken TV (Photo credit: schmilblick)

Have you ever been frustrated at a mechanical device?  I don’t mean a little miffed; I am talking about the kind of frustration that would cause hardware to fly into walls and through windows.

The mad dog rage that starts wars and causes preachers to cuss and other such unthinkable nasties.

Well allow me to share one such story.  A tale of such woe oozing with the vile stench of death, dismemberment, and downright bad behavior.  I had been working on a device to alleviate discomfort in my legs as I slept.  Now you see, the completion of this device was not my responsibility alone. It also involved the work of other skilled craftsmen.

After months of designing the ingenious apparatus (the likes of which have never been seen by the eyes of man), construction was ready to commence. I enlisted a judicious technician to begin the delicate task of assembling this gift to humanity, under my strict supervision, of course.

Next, the precise task of assembling the motivation for this work of art was placed in the hands of an artisan without equal. Once this was completed, the sections in all their glory were returned to me for final assembly. Cautiously, I began the tedious process of removing insulation from soon to be current-laden wires.

With much fuss and ado this process was finished. The last task to complete this magnificent creation was at hand. I energized the moving parts of this grandiose mechanism. A deafening quiet overtook the room. No one dared move as they awaited the equivalent of the breath of life to surge through this masterful experiment. The instrument of liberation hummed, sputtered, and then quickly died, reminiscent of one who lets an inflated balloon go and watches as it fizzles to the ground.

And then, as if this weren’t enough to drive a sane man to the brink of unthinkable atrocities, the controller on my newly-updated media machine failed to operate, causing a unconscionable dilemma that would have made a lesser man cross the line into the dark side of all known and unknown sides that happen to be dark.

Now, here is where my genius gallantly shines. If you become frustrated as you write, take time to remove yourself from your current project. You will find that a fresh set of eyes on a once aggravating manuscript will do wonders. Do as I say and not as I do and in this way you will incur less repair costs on walls and windows.

Just remember as you read my posts, that if I could buy myself for what I’m worth and sell myself for what I think I’m worth, I could eliminate the national debt.

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