Tag Archives: football

Interplanetary Sports, in General, Lack the Hoopla Afforded the All Important Fifth Down…At Least, That’s the General Consensus

The super bowl will be here tomorrow. It’s gotten to be quite the celebration. It’s the day the most pizzas are eaten and holds the dubious record for domestic disturbances. alien football playreA commercial costs more than I’ll make in my lifetime and speaking of commercials, some people tune in just to see the new advertisements unveiled.

The pregame show begins a week or so before the game and this year we already have an under-inflated controversy. Then, there’s the halftime musical show with dozens of pre-picked screaming meemies jumping up and down to this year’s guest star.

Not only pizza’s, but think of the beer, chicken wings and chili consumption. All in all’ it sounds like a pretty good time and just think, some folks will even pay attention to the game.

What if an author were to outline his next project using the super bowl as a template? (We will, of course, be writing in the science fiction genre.)

Weeks ahead of the book being started, the author would hem and haw about what could be, what should be, what won’t be, and what will most likely have the slightest chance of what will be.

Day number two: scratch day number one and redesign in reverse.

Day number three, develop plot: On the world of Patrot (the only deflatable and inflatable planet in the galaxy), King Bilbel and Prince T-Brad were preparing for the yearly contest against their rival.

Day number four: The world of Seahack was just as busy preparing for the contest but also making travel plans for Patrot. King Petcar and Prince Russwill were running their team through their paces.

Day number five: The Seahack Leons arrive at the Patrot Bartmucks Stadium. Competition is stiff even though the game has yet to start. Just making their way to their accommodations endangers life and limb. Each squad is pummeled with cooked cauliflower and wet newspapers.

Day number six: Cancelled due to lack of interest.

Day number seven: Only three days before the big game. This will be the bowl of soup CXXXLVII (167). King Bilbel and Prince T-Brad are searching for their thirteenth football bat. They want to make sure it is properly inflated. The impact once the bat contacts the ball-o-the foot is of the most importance.

Day number eight: King Petcar and Prince Russwill are disguised as large pieces of cooked cauliflower and wet newspaper in order to follow King Bilbel and Prince T-Brad to make sure they practice proper foot hygiene to protect them from cauliflower and newspaper rot.

Day number nine: Now that we have the perfect outline for our novel we are ready to write the next best seller.

You may want to talk with your agent before you actually begin penning this manuscript. Mental incompetence may play a large role in your advance. Not to mention, the ability to perform simple tasks such as bathing, feeding and dressing yourself.

In conclusion, please try to remove the silliness from your brain and enjoy the super bowl.

In my opinion, their over-inflating the under inflation.

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GESUNDHEIT!!

I have found if you ask someone their favorite season, more often than not, the response will be “Fall.” I have no other choice than to agree.rugby

The days turn cooler, offering relief from the summer heat. The colors that grace the trees; no artist can paint. The crisp evenings instill a spring in our step and a revitalization that encompasses our inner being.

Only this time of year are we able to embrace the sights and sounds of the autumnal equinox. The grass is nearly dormant, extending a six-month hiatus to leave it be. Spend the time you would normally use to trim your lawn, on a flight of fancy for pure enjoyment.

Yes, indeed, this beautiful season we refer to as Fall. I once again must reiterate the sights, sounds, the cool crisp air… There’s something I’m missing… Something very important… What can it be?

Now I remember; a deep breath, an earth shattering sneeze, and 3 pounds of phlegm blast from my snot locker.

Smell! That’s what I’ve been missing! It’s not Fall; it’s ragweed season–otherwise known as “Relentless, Autumnal-Germinated Water,  Exceedingly  Enriched, Disgusting,  Snot, Eternally Antagonizing Said Owner of Nose.”

Wow! I don’t normally delve into mounds of mucus, but this just had to be said. Now, I strongly suggest to myself that I change the subject.

What popular activity is associated with Sunday (after church, of course) that coincides with the flowing of the phlegm? It’s the season of that great gridiron game, the all American sport of FOOTBALL. Sixteen weeks of testosterone-filled excitement, followed by the playoffs and then, the day of days…what we’ve waited an entire year to see…the only day of the year spousal abuse is allowed (and believe you me, my wife has a right hook that will put you on your butt. If I’m not mistaken I didn’t fully regain consciousness until Tuesday.)…Superbowl Sunday!  There is no doubt for that portion of the year, it’s manly men, wearing manly equipment, playing manly games.

Hmm… There is… dare I say it? Yes, I think I must… There is another manly game, played by manly men, in the land across the great pond. This land is a land of friendship–non-other than, the United Kingdom.

In no way do I mean to imply that our American football players are not manly due to the protective gear they don; football can be a vicious game and many injuries occur despite the high-tech gear.

However, I couldn’t help but notice in the game of rugby no equipment is worn. I have enjoyed rugby matches even though I haven’t a clue as to what they are doing. What I have been able to ascertain thus far amounts to this:

Burly men pushing back and forth in what is known as a scrum. There is a ball and crude orthodontia work being performed on the field. And, there you have it, my knowledge concerning the sport of rugby.

Unfortunately our time is over for now. There’s a football game about to start and I’m way behind on my play-by-play, not to mention the overabundance of mucus.

As for rugby, you’re walking a fine line between insanity and the manliest of the manly. For now I’ll discount the insanity and err on the side of manly-ism, but couldn’t you guys at least wear a mouth piece.

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I Wonder If Fish Get Headaches….

Are you a sports fan? If so, what your game? Football, baseball, hockey, soccer, tennis, basketball, NASCAR. Or maybe even hunting or fishing. I know I’ve omitted a number of popular sports, but you get the general idea.concussion

 I’d say that football is more than likely one of the most popular in the United States. It would be my first choice as a spectator sport. As far as an activity for participation, in a word, fishing floats my boat. (pun intended)

 Since this just happens to be that special time of year when everyone gets together to celebrate that singular occurrence that we all wait for with great anticipation, wait for it, wait for it, here it comes, it’s almost here, just another second, it’s finally here!… striped bass fishing on the Outer Banks of North Carolina… Oh yeah, and the Super Bowl. Let’s just take a few minutes to explore some of the similarities and differences between the two.

 1.) When fishing you can catch a buzz with a beer.

 2.) In football, you catch that buzz with a concussion.

 3.) The fisherman brings his rod back in preparation for the long cast.

 4.) The quarterback drops back in preparation for the long pass. (see line number 2)

 5.) The fisherman attempts to outwit his quarry with hooks, rigs, lures and bait.

 6.) In football, brute force is used to power through the enemy lines. (see line number 2)

 7.) A good day on the water rewards the fisherman and family with a delectable meal.

 8.) A good day on the gridiron rewards the participants with another day of life and of course (see good ole line number 2)

My first passion would be writing, just ahead of salt water angling in the surf at the beach. Come to think of it, it’s been quite a few years since I tossed around the ole pig skin.

 Guess I’m just a big sissy who likes to eat fish.

 Always remember: give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll set out in a boat and drink beer.

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