Tag Archives: Fall
Seasons Are Seasonal Not to Say That Seasons Are Seasonable If Seasons Were Seasonable Then I Think Salt Would Be The Only Seasoning a Season Would Need to Be Seasoned With
If I Were to Fall into Fall Would the Fall Break My Fall? Likewise, If I Were to Spring into Spring Would the Fall Break My Fall? Too Many Questions, Can’t Think Straight, Too Many, Just Too Many
Once again it is upon us. In fact, it comes around every year at this particular time. When asked about it, most people will answer that it is their favorite. When there are four to select from, I guess the one chosen becomes special. How special, you ask? Well, allow me to enlighten you.
Books, both fiction and non-fiction, have been penned about this phenomenon. Somewhat of an opposite spectacle takes place six months prior to…or if you are on more of a subsequent thought pattern, you may take a six month after stance. Which one you take makes no difference to me. I don’t even know why I put such bazaar notions in this blog, although it does take up space. How do you like me now?
Again you ask, what is this that deserves so much attention, has been the subject of numerous types of literature, and inspired the very color palette we use today? The autumnal equinox signifies a change of the seasons, the onset of ragweed allergies, and the clogged snot lockers that ensue. For all you bugophiles and arachnophobiacs, don’t forget the cicadas, katydids and huge red spiders that also lend to the completion of summer. Aside from all the bugaboos, it’s a beautiful time, raking up leaves for your grandkids to jump in.
So take the opportunity to enjoy this gift from God.
The days turn cooler, offering relief from the summer heat. The colors that grace the trees; no artist can paint. The crisp evenings instill a spring in our step and a revitalization that encompasses our inner being.
Only this time of year are we able to embrace the sights and sounds of the autumnal equinox. The grass is nearly dormant, extending a six-month hiatus to leave it be. Spend the time you would normally use to trim your lawn, on a flight of fancy for pure enjoyment.
Yes, indeed, this beautiful season we refer to as Fall. I once again must reiterate the sights, sounds, the cool crisp air… There’s something I’m missing… Something very important… What can it be?
Now I remember; a deep breath, an earth shattering sneeze, and 3 pounds of phlegm blast from my snot locker.
Smell! That’s what I’ve been missing! It’s not Fall; it’s ragweed season–otherwise known as “Relentless, Autumnal-Germinated Water, Exceedingly Enriched, Disgusting, Snot, Eternally Antagonizing Said Owner of Nose.”
Wow! I don’t normally delve into mounds of mucus, but this just had to be said. Now, I strongly suggest to myself that I change the subject.
What popular activity is associated with Sunday (after church, of course) that coincides with the flowing of the phlegm? It’s the season of that great gridiron game, the all American sport of FOOTBALL. Sixteen weeks of testosterone-filled excitement, followed by the playoffs and then, the day of days…what we’ve waited an entire year to see…the only day of the year spousal abuse is allowed (and believe you me, my wife has a right hook that will put you on your butt. If I’m not mistaken I didn’t fully regain consciousness until Tuesday.)…Superbowl Sunday! There is no doubt for that portion of the year, it’s manly men, wearing manly equipment, playing manly games.
Hmm… There is… dare I say it? Yes, I think I must… There is another manly game, played by manly men, in the land across the great pond. This land is a land of friendship–non-other than, the United Kingdom.
In no way do I mean to imply that our American football players are not manly due to the protective gear they don; football can be a vicious game and many injuries occur despite the high-tech gear.
However, I couldn’t help but notice in the game of rugby no equipment is worn. I have enjoyed rugby matches even though I haven’t a clue as to what they are doing. What I have been able to ascertain thus far amounts to this:
Burly men pushing back and forth in what is known as a scrum. There is a ball and crude orthodontia work being performed on the field. And, there you have it, my knowledge concerning the sport of rugby.
Unfortunately our time is over for now. There’s a football game about to start and I’m way behind on my play-by-play, not to mention the overabundance of mucus.
As for rugby, you’re walking a fine line between insanity and the manliest of the manly. For now I’ll discount the insanity and err on the side of manly-ism, but couldn’t you guys at least wear a mouth piece.
Did I mention during my last post that I was in the middle of rewrites and edits? Now this is a rhetorical question because I did more than just mention that fact. I drove it into the ground, dug it up and like a bottle of shampoo instructs one to rinse and repeat, I did the same. Seems to me I may have even rented a backhoe.
Anywho, enough of that… I ran across a section where my protagonist and his entourage were a bit out of sorts due to the deadly desert heat they were forging through. It just so happened that on the very same day, we were experiencing temperatures that had climbed into the 70s and, complements of a cold front, dropped 30° in just a few hours. This sudden drop on the Fahrenheit scale signaled the rusty cogs in my brain to commence turning again–we’re now in the middle of the seasonal change from winter into spring.
You remember the old saying, “April showers bring May flowers,” along with severe thunderstorms, tornadoes, pollen, watery eyes, sneezing, boat loads of snot and gallons of phlegm. The difference in the two, by my reckoning, is snot emanates from the honker and phlegm from the pie hole. (I hope I didn’t get too technical in describing the two medical facts of life. If so, I apologize, but…there you have it.)
Pollen, watery eyes, sneezing and the bodily fluids that flow during this seasonal change remain the one constant, prevalent in all four seasons that we experience.
Having already described winter to spring (the vernal equinox), next in line is spring to summer. (The estival solstice)
Once again we’re plagued with severe thunderstorms and tornadoes, but this time pollen morphs from the trees to the ground in the form of grass. Alas, the snot still flows; albeit, much thinner than its springtime counterpart. There is also one small tidbit of information that bears mentioning. Those along the Gulf and East coast of the United States now have the additional threat of hurricanes.
Moving along we turn our attention to what most people refer to as their favorite time of year, the autumnal equinox, or fall. By now, thunderstorms have calmed somewhat, but hurricane season is at its peak and snot levels are off the charts, all because of my friend and yours, Mr. and Mrs. Ragweed. This time of year slow down and pay attention to your surroundings. Are not the colors dazzling (God’s silent fireworks) and the crisp air such a relief from the heat and humidity of summer? Take a deep breath, you’ll see……Achoo!!…… Excuse me please.
And now, we have come full circle. The circle of life, around the bend, back to the beginning, pass “GO” collect $200. We have reached the hibernal solstice (winter). It is during these few months that the river of snot is more tolerable than any other time of year. The beauty of the snow, the wonder of the Christmas season, and the new year, when we hopefully try to better ourselves.
Once again it is time to bid you, “ado.” Thank you for listening to me whine about my yearly sinus problems. Of course, we know there are wondrous things to enjoy each and every day of the year and take time to say a prayer for those in harm’s way during tumultuous times embedded in each season.
Until next week!
I’m a little more than halfway through the novel I am presently working on. Always on the lookout for blog fodder, during a recent writing session I noticed a number of amber-colored leaves spread across the lawn, signifying the beginning of fall. This in turn caused me to jump deeper inside myself and this is what I crawled out with.
If you ask someone, “What is your favorite season?” most people will answer, Fall. Now this is something that I had to ponder.
It didn’t take long to determine that it is due to the crisp air and the beautiful colors that we are blessed with during that time of year.
This made me think of the other options we have available to satisfy that meteorological jonesing, namely winter, spring and summer. I may assume your favorite season is fall, but cannot state that with any accuracy; therefore, you’ll have the unique opportunity to consider my view. Fortunately, I live in a part of the country that experiences the four climate changes each year.
First, the season of renewal: spring.
Some folks see it as a time of reawakening and rebirth after the long cold winter. Days become warmer; flowers bloom; trees bud and the landscape begins to ooze chlorophyll.
Now, my take on this new season of beauty and warmth goes more like this. The humidity begins to increase along with those wonderfully warm temperatures, which in turn causes me to leak. The beautiful budding of trees and flowers coat my vehicles in a dusty yellow powder, we know to be pollen. Now this irritating dust that makes flora grow also makes my nose blow. So in conclusion, spring for me is a foreboding glimpse of things to come; bugs to swat; sweat to wipe; eyes to rub and thirty gallons of mucus and phlegm to travel through my facial orifices. And, for that special added bonus, just for living in the troposphere, we enjoy thunderstorms, power outages and tornadoes.
Next comes summer:
Who doesn’t love the long lazy days of summer? The kids are out of school. The swimming pools are open and tis the season for the family vacation.
I don’t know what I like better, mosquitoes siphoning their daily pint of blood or those wonderfully docile wasps that build their abodes over my door. These little psycho’s have no qualms as to when you enter or exit as long as they can jab their organic hypodermic needles deep into your flesh. For some folks it is the time of year they can rejoice, for the spiders and snakes have returned to bid them a fond ado. To abscond with a phrase from a famous theatrical and cinematic production, and I quote, “These are a few of my favorite things.”
- Heat waves, flooding rains, biting bugs and hurricanes.
- Tornadoes cutting swaths through towns, where bloodsucking ticks abound.
- Spiders, bees, scaly snakes and even occasional earthquakes.
- Bats darting through the air. “Duck! Don’t let it in your hair.”
- Each night they eat their weight in bugs; after a rain watch out for slugs.
- Crickets chirping in the house; visits by a furry mouse.
- Pulling ticks off canine pets; shots require trips to the vet.
- Household chores like cutting grass; increases in the price of gas.
- Sunshine radiating down, my back now red, no sunscreen found.
- And now, I’ll stop these silly rhymes for I have taken too much time.
- I realize my greatest fear, cause I have bored myself to tears.
And now everyone’s favorite: fall.
I have already mentioned the endearing attributes of these golden three months. I would be remiss if I did not state the negative. So here it is: Ragweed! Nuff said.
Finally, what you’ve all been waiting for… “Drumroll please.” The grand finale: Old Man Winter; Jack Frost and things that go crunch in the night.
My favorite time of the year– ice on every horizontal surface; dormant vegetation crunching under foot; the trees void of leaves resemble multi-armed creatures eager to dislodge earth imprisoned roots. Single-digit temperatures; white rain accumulating on the lawn and road alike, making driving treacherous. And if one is adventuresome enough for a short jaunt to the beach they can encounter some of the best striped bass fishing available. During the winter I can look out my window and see nothing but the cold, gray landscape of apparent death (even though all is just dormant) I can walk outside unmolested by bloodsucking insects and at night all is quiet, unlike the crickets, frogs, katydids and hoards of other insects who lend their voice to the nighttime summer chorus.
Although winter is one of my favorite times of year, the paragraph you just read was mainly tongue-in-cheek. There are things I love and dislike about each of the seasons. In fact, the differences are one of the reasons experiencing all four seasons is so wonderful. Holidays to spend with family and friends; summer vacations and being beat unmercifully by ocean waves; surf fishing fall, winter and spring just to name a few.
All in all just another way to enjoy God’s endless bounty He constantly blesses us with.
Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I like to fish!