Tag Archives: commercials

Should I Consult an Attorney or Purchase “Lawyer in a Box” for my Computer? Decisions, Decisions. Well, I Reckon I’ll go With The Box.

from-machetes-to-tanks-12-lawyer-ads-that-are-just-outrageousI learned to keep my use of adjectives to a minimum when writing. It’s so easy to add unnecessary descriptive words to a manuscript as you jauntily tap, tap, tap on the key board. Once you finish a page or two and return to read the magnificent sentences you have electronically deposited on your virtual paper, you cringe. It seems as though you have a page littered with “l-y’s” and a few extra words to hold the substance of your writing (namely l-y’s) together.

It’s similar to things we find living day to day in the real world. For instance: There is a commercial broadcast across the airways that claims you can use their product to produce legal documents. I believe they call themselves “Legal Zip Zap” or something of the sort. You are led to believe this service is meant to save you money bypassing the need for a lawyer. If you read the fine print (being as I’m a fine print kinda guy) it will tell you “Legal Zip Zap” is not (and I’m paraphrasing) a substitute for legal advice, from who? That’s right, a lawyer. Unfortunately, the fine print does not appear on the screen long enough to have any chance of reading all of the tiny words. I understand you can receive help from an attorney (notice how I wrote attorney instead of lawyer?…pretty cool, huh?) supplied to you by “Legal Zip Zap.” Now for the fine print and once again I am paraphrasing. These attorneys and/or lawyers must be purchased ahead of time. I guess I’ll begin pausing the television during these commercials so I can get the dope on the small print, me being, as I have said before, a small print kinda guy.

I guess what it comes down to is, avoid an excessive amount of adjectives and stay away from questionable lawyers, all politicians, and the “if it bleeds it leads” media, in that order.

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Consider the Television Ad….I’d Just Soon Not. It Gives Me a Headache


no-cable-tv (Photo credit: hjl)

Commercials–we love them; we loathe them; we laugh at them; we stare, mouth agape, wondering what many of them are about…some even watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials.

The networks and cable stations use them to pay for their programming, which seems kind of odd to me. The networks I understand, but we already pay for the cable stations. Hmm…I wonder why we don’t mind paying twice?

Commercials even tell us what holiday to celebrate. Around August, we know that Halloween is only two short months away. Before Halloween can come and go, Thanksgiving ads slide across the flat screen reminding us to purchase the turkey and all of the trimmings. Before we inhale our first bite of turkey, we know that Santa Claus will soon be on his way.

I think my least favorite commercials, as far as holidays go, are Valentine’s Day. We learn that it’s okay to spend thousands of dollars on those carbon based stones that are formed under thousands of years of pressure from a simple piece of coal. In fact, these objects, according to what we are told, are a girl’s best friend.

If you look at it on a daily basis, you will find that commercials pretty much tell us everything we need to know to live our lives. They tell us what to eat, what to wear, how to wash, where to work, what to drive, who to marry (even though it’s not necessary these days), how to handle our finances, what to do in order to retire comfortably, provide our families with life insurance protection and how much it will cost to take a dirt nap.

Some companies employ advertising agencies that come up with such ridiculous ideas they dissuade you from purchasing the product. Of course, the company doesn’t have to accept the agency’s proposal…That’s one I’ll let you figure out.

There are three commercials in particular that deserve special mention. The first one says that if we eat French fries in the morning, it will change the world. The second one says that if we eat local, fresh food, we can change the world. The third one states that we will change the world one pet at a time. Now correct me if I’m wrong. I love French fries but have been told (by these same commercials I might add) that fried foods are bad for my arteries. As far as fresh local food, it’s good for your body as long as you don’t fry it. And as far as changing the world one pet at a time, I don’t believe I’ll waste the ink making a comment on that particular statement.

Whether you’re beginning a new manuscript, in the middle, or bringing it to a conclusion, be certain to keep it clear and concise unlike the chaotic world we all know, love, and hate as the commercial.

Now excuse me I’ve got cookies baking in my tree out back, the elves are on strike, and I wouldn’t want them to burn.

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