Tag Archives: blogs

How Else Could I Sit Here Looking This Goofy If I Weren’t As Goofy As I Look?

2665ac5bf28edf779a626550f2645249_free-vector-search-secretary-secretary-clipart-pictures_361-425You’re sitting in your writer’s room staring at a blank screen. Your assistant asks, “How do you come up with a blog subject to write about? Do you have a topic in mind or just stare at the monitor?”

“Shh,” you say, “you’ll find out soon enough.” If you were to take this whole scenario and place it neatly into a blog bag, what would be your criteria for finishing the aforementioned blog?

Now, since I just asked myself a question, it seems the next step would be to answer…okay, if that’s the way you want it, then an author should always be beholden to his audience.

Since I now have the blog firmly in start mode, I would begin finding ways to interject bits of humor into the text. I feel it’s important to maintain a lighthearted spirit throughout the piece, allowing the reader a respite from the daily grind, if only for a few moments. Secondly, I would include pieces of interesting information confirming this material was accurate. Then, I would make sure the blog was about writing or loosely based on writing. I use this format simply because I’m a writer and I enjoy learning fascinating blurbs of obscure topics, such as the origin of clichés and the like. And lastly, I’d  make the blog as good as it could be. How do you accomplish this, you ask? Well, for me it works to have my best buddy visit for a few hours and type these words of wisdom for her buddy. If you’re wondering what my secret is, I’ll call her the Sooze.

Please consider this my Monday morning smile from me to you!

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If You Are One to Spell Words By Sounding Them Out (Phonics), Most People Would Say, “That’s a Good Thing.” After Reading This Post That May Change

qx3hlI thought it would be educational to write a blog using phonics…excuse me one moment…there we go. Please humor me as I begin my post once again.

I thawt it wood b edukshunal to rite a blog using fonix. B-ing a riter I do use this tool okkashunalee. In fakt I feel it wood be prudent to diskribe the riting process as it werks for me.

I yam not the tipe to use an outline befor I begin a new manuskript. I sit befor the m-tee kompewter  skreen with an idea and let it gro from ther. Wonse my idea kan manetane a firm hold then a storee line is kreated. Regardless of the jonra in witch the storee is ritten, I proseed in the same maner and simplee allow the storee to rite itself. Bi allowing mi noval this freedum, with me as the ankor, a smoother progreshun from start to finish kan b obtaned.

So u see how benafishal fonix kan b wen used korrekly and in kontext with itself. I kannot understan what happened to the fonix program. It used to be so populer that peeple were akchewly hooked on it. Ma-b this post wil bring an awareness of our need for this resorse. As u can see it is to valubul to lews. Spred the word. Don’t let this galant hero of words eskape our sivilized sivilazashun. I felt the need to drop all suddleties in this post. Pleese pardon mi zeel.

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Did You Say, “Do It Again.”…No!…Anything but That…Will You Ever Learn?

writing-a-novelConsidering my last four blogs, I see the first three find me whining about the insidious woes of having to write, rewrite, and edit my books over and over again. You would think I was the only author who had such a burden to carry on my poor little shoulders.

Well, maybe I am. I may be the first author in history to have had such a challenge on a novel that was challenging to write, challenging to rewrite, challenging to edit, challenging to rewrite again and challenging to finishing editing. It was also challenging to read it the 30 or so times that I was required to read said novel, ensuring that all was properly done. I should add this was accomplished with the help of a competent publisher/editor.

In my fourth blog, I reveled in the completion of this challenging novel.

Quite a feat, don’t you think? Of course you do, if you have the same high opinion of me as I do…now let’s take a moment to sort out my recent comments. If this was really me and the delusional financial strategy I have simmering in the recess of my brain even possible, I’d have it made. I could buy myself for what I’m worth, sell myself for what I think I’m worth, and realize enough profit to purchase a professional sports collective.

In truth, my last novel was a bear to bring to print as I’m sure you, too, have experienced. But obviously, we’re gluttons for punishment, because you know what we’re going to do?…that’s right…turn around and jump smack dab right into the middle of the fire, again.

So sharpen your pencils and grab a chunk of aloe plant, cause here we go!

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Keep it Stupid Simple so Halfwits Like I is Able to Understood. Thank You

new-blogger-fontI’ve said this before; however, I think it bears saying again…on second thought, as important as I believe this statement to be, I will save it until the end of this post.

I have found when writing a blog all forms of what one would consider “normal writing” fly out the window never to be seen again.

Blogs require (in my opinion) something to keep the reader captivated. The subject matter doesn’t matter unless the matter is mind-numbingly dull. Now, that matters.

As I write my blogs, I like to stay within the boundaries of writing. Since I consider writing to have no boundaries, I have free reign or free range like the chicken of the same name.

When you look into “free range” chicken, you learn that a chicken can be labeled “free range” as long as it has access from its coup for 30 minutes or less each day. Since this is totally unacceptable for my definition of “free range,” we will stick with free reign.

You may structure your blog post around serious subject matter or important current events. You may base your post around historical or political incidents. You may choose to pen your post around a pillar of nonsense (which I find works well for me) since it allows you to maintain a certain level of humor along with any pinch of truth you may want to include.

Once you draw your readers in, you may do with them what you will. If you can pull them into your web, then you have accomplished what every writer strives to do.

So, continue to write your blog and find out what works best for you and your audience…oh, and that revelation I was going divulge at the end of the post stemming from the first two sentences…

I need a bit more time to mull this ultimate disclosure over just to make sure you are ready to receive it. I’m not being condescending; just very concerned for your safety.

Until then, take good care and have a very Merry Christmas.

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