Tag Archives: beer

Beer Googles…..No Thanks, I Have My Own…..But a Pair of Ear-Plugs Would Certainly Do the Trick

If you take the time to think about today, as opposed to yesteryear, in the context of your own life, you’ll notice quite a bit of growth. At least “growth” is what we hope to see and certainly that of a positive nature.beer fishing

Some people grow very little, comparatively, because they were mature as children through puberty and into adulthood. Not that they never made a mistake–it’s just that their mistakes were more like, “Oh no, my library book is overdue,” or “I’m ten minutes past curfew.”

That being the right hand meant there was plenty of room for a multitude of left hands. If you were a left hand, it didn’t matter if you were a mature child or mature through puberty. Once you hit young adulthood, your mistakes included words like: bail, full coverage and “what do you mean you’re two weeks late?”

I was somewhere in the middle. Had a good childhood, made it through puberty, but when I reached young adulthood, I embraced an unequaled love for the great outdoors.

For instance: I was especially fond of drinking beer on the back porch. The front porch was as equally enjoyable; as was the tailgate of my truck, the woods, sitting on the well top eating crabs, and just about any place my rear end would fit was a good place to sozzle down the suds.

Several years earlier, I learned of a whole new world–the wonderful world of fishing. Wait a minute… Why not combine the two? Now I was literally beside myself with joy. One of me was drinking and the other fishing. The next major discovery was of a place where the water contained salt, larger fish, and things called waves. These were special places; places that required extended travel and room rentals for overnight stays.

What a revelation! This meant I could actually take my suds swilling, rod reeling, show on the road, and take it I did.

Now, during this time that I like to refer to as “fermentation enlightenment,” another beast was rearing its rather attractive head. This particular beast arrived on the scene with its name forever sewn into its tighty whitey waistband–that name, “rock ‘n roll.”

You see I had started playing guitar at age 11, and to the best of my figuring why not incorporate this, “rock ‘n roll” into the fold. So what do you know, now I have a reason to guzzle that golden beverage on the inside.

First, you get together with friends who are of a similar mind but play different instruments. Once you have begged, borrowed and pilfered your way through musicians of the same caliber, you will eventually hit that magic number. This magic number I am referring to is the amount of bodies needed to play all the necessary instruments which enables you to refer to yourself as a “band.”

Now you can begin that long journey down the road to rock stardom. I learned early on that there were two paths to achieve this goal. Dedicate yourself to the craft, work hard, practice hard, live rock ‘n roll and maybe one day, you’ll make it; or pound down enough of the golden beverage so that you’re oblivious to the way you sound, which in turn means you’ll never make it, but you really don’t care.

Guess which one I chose… You got it… Bottoms up!

That’s just the way it goes. Sometimes in life even though we strive for mediocrity, we’re unable to reach that lofty goal.

Thankfully, somewhere along the line (before my liver packed up and moved into a retirement home) the golden beverage transformed into ionized water and green tea.

Writing is my passion, but on a cool clear night, if I listen closely I can still hear my Les Paul whine as my fingers sizzle down the ebony fret board…….Nah, it’s just the neighbor’s cat.

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A Love Affair for the Ages-Libations and Lips

 As usual, here I sit in front of my computer staring at a virtual page with virtual words plastered across it.  Suddenly, I think of the masters, namely Hemingway.  I can’t help but wonder how many words he penned sober whiskeyand how many under the influence of mind altering liquids.

 This leads me to think of my own life.  How many words have I penned sober, and in the days of yore when I was known to tip a grog or twelve, how many did I pen while gassed?

 Once again (as ideas are wanton to travel from point A to point B and continue on unabated), the word “buzz” bounces off my four walls several times and then into my brain.  At once I am weighed down with that nagging question of the ages.  “Buzz,” I think–that all important state of mind.  It’s not a ball, and it’s not a cold.  So why will the human race go through so much to catch one?

 The first evidence of a fermented beverage was found as residue in a clay pot 9,000 years ago.  At that time they would combine honey, rice and fruit.  I don’t have a clue about the finished product, other than inebriation was sure to follow.  Additional proof that the more things change the more they stay the same, and also that the “buzz” would never go out of style.

 Down through the ages mankind, thirsty for different tasting “buzzes,” develop different tasting drinks.  Beers and mead were always ready for a good time.  And then came the fermentation of grapes which we all know as wine. This beverage was so important during weddings in biblical times that it warranted the attention of Jesus.  In the French town of Cognac, the Dutch would transport wine long distances.  In order to make more room, the wine would be distilled, concentrating the beverage, allowing more to be shipped.  Once it reached its destination, the wine could be reconstituted and enjoyed by all.

 It was soon found that the distilled wine was enjoyed much more than its diluted cousin.  This distilled wine or burnt wine which translated to brandy wine was later shortened to “brandy.”  Then after a second distillation the beverage adopted the name of the town from whence it came, “Cognac.”

 During the middle ages, more alcohol than water was consumed due to the bacteria laden H20.  Even kids could walk around snockered.

 Sea faring ships carried more beer than water for the same reason.  British sailors were given a ration of one gallon of beer a day.

 During prohibition, organized crime was centered around the illegal sale of alcohol. Moonshining rose in popularity and profitability, especially in the Appalachian region. In fact, my bride hales from what one Parisian paper dubbed as the “moonshine capital of the world,” Franklin County, Virginia.

 There are alcoholic beverages still made today in some primitive cultures that are not fermented with sugar or yeast but human saliva.

 I am still confounded as to why the human race will go to such ends to achieve that grand ole pastime of “gettin high”.  Oh well, some things just aren’t meant to be answered.

 Now, where was I?  “Buzz”, “Buzz”, “Buzz”, Hemingway……..now I remember.  I was writing a story.

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