Tag Archives: Autumn

Katy-Did-It so the Next Time You Wanna Gnaw off a Bug’s Head Don’ t Drag Me into Your New Culinary Experiences

article-0-0E035C8E00000578-745_634x512We’re nearing mid-August and already I can see small signs of fall emerging. Just last week, our daily highs were in the 60’s and 70’s with lower humidity.

(Catch my new release, “For Whom the Leaves Fall,” for all my autumnal predictions.)

It’s a time of year when critters begin their death march and this final march, many times, includes the walking dead entering my abode.

For instance, the extremely noisy cicadas begin dropping from the sky, and the just as annoying katydid’s go to any length to sneak into my home. (They’re the deep green flying insects that somewhat resemble a grasshopper.)

If you’ve ever had even one of these green monsters in your house, then you know that when they begin sounding off, you would swear an air raid siren had set up shop in your living room.

It’s also the time (those with arachnophobia might want to close your eyes through this section) that these big fat red spiders string their webs everywhere. More than likely sections of web will find their way crossing through your exterior door openings. Ever see someone who has an aversion to our eight legged friends get tangled in a spider web where the owner of said web is as big as your thumb? Believe you me, it’s not a pretty sight.

Then, we have the leftover yellow jackets who seem determined to mine every iota of sugar they can. And where does one mine for sugar in the fall? Why soda cans of course. Ever see someone who has an aversion to stinging insects spend even a short amount of time with one in their mouth? Well, let’s just say this one gets downright ugly.

Have you ever paid attention to a granddaddy long-legs in the spring? It sits high on its long thin legs and small round body. Pay special attention to the same species who makes it through the summer and into fall. Its legs are worn down halfway or more. Its body looks as though it has been sitting on a couch eating hotdogs all summer long. Ugly doesn’t begin to describe this short, fat, out-of-shape member of the arachnid family.

Now, we’ll pick on the bad boy of the insect world in my neck of the woods. This would be the wolf of the foliage, the Praying Mantis. Bugs don’t normally bother me, but a large Praying Mantis I don’t normally touch. One year out of curiosity I put a large Mantis in a jar along with a fat red spider. The Praying Mantis moving at the speed of sound snatched the spider so quickly that the arachnid never had a chance. The Mantis had eaten the spider’s head before I knew what had happened.

Quite interesting indeed.

So instead of sitting inside watching the leaves fall. Check out what type of death and dismemberment may be available for viewing in your area. Until next week….

Toodles.

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If Pollen Could Talk, What Would it Say? Aw, C’mon I’m Snot Gonna Hurt Ya

Did I mention during my last post that I was in the middle of rewrites and edits?sneeze Now this is a rhetorical question because I did more than just mention that fact. I drove it into the ground, dug it up and like a bottle of shampoo instructs one to rinse and repeat, I did the same. Seems to me I may have even rented a backhoe.

Anywho, enough of that… I ran across a section where my protagonist and his entourage were a bit out of sorts due to the deadly desert heat they were forging through. It just so happened that on the very same day, we were experiencing temperatures that had climbed into the 70s and, complements of a cold front, dropped 30° in just a few hours. This sudden drop on the Fahrenheit scale signaled the rusty cogs in my brain to commence turning again–we’re now in the middle of the seasonal change from winter into spring.

You remember the old saying, “April showers bring May flowers,” along with severe thunderstorms, tornadoes, pollen, watery eyes, sneezing, boat loads of snot and gallons of phlegm. The difference in the two, by my reckoning, is snot emanates from the honker and phlegm from the pie hole. (I hope I didn’t get too technical in describing the two medical facts of life. If so, I apologize, but…there you have it.)

Pollen, watery eyes, sneezing and the bodily fluids that flow during this seasonal change remain the one constant, prevalent in all four seasons that we experience.

Having already described winter to spring (the vernal equinox), next in line is spring to summer. (The estival solstice)

Once again we’re plagued with severe thunderstorms and tornadoes, but this time pollen morphs from the trees to the ground in the form of grass. Alas, the snot still flows; albeit, much thinner than its springtime counterpart. There is also one small tidbit of information that bears mentioning. Those along the Gulf and East coast of the United States now have the additional threat of hurricanes.

Moving along we turn our attention to what most people refer to as their favorite time of year, the autumnal equinox, or fall. By now, thunderstorms have calmed somewhat, but hurricane season is at its peak and snot levels are off the charts, all because of my friend and yours, Mr. and Mrs. Ragweed. This time of year slow down and pay attention to your surroundings. Are not the colors dazzling (God’s silent fireworks) and the crisp air such a relief from the heat and humidity of summer? Take a deep breath, you’ll see……Achoo!!…… Excuse me please.

And now, we have come full circle. The circle of life, around the bend, back to the beginning, pass “GO” collect $200. We have reached the hibernal solstice (winter). It is during these few months that the river of snot is        more tolerable than any other time of year. The beauty of the snow, the wonder of the Christmas season, and the new year, when we hopefully try to better ourselves.

Once again it is time to bid you, “ado.” Thank you for listening to me whine about my yearly sinus problems. Of course, we know there are wondrous things to enjoy each and every day of the year and take time to say a prayer for those in harm’s way during tumultuous times embedded in each season.

Until next week!

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How do You Know it’s Seasoned Properly if You Don’t Taste it

Fallen Leaves

Fallen Leaves (Photo credit: elycefeliz)

I’m a little more than halfway through the novel I am presently working on. Always on the lookout for blog fodder, during a recent writing session I noticed a number of amber-colored leaves spread across the lawn, signifying the beginning of fall. This in turn caused me to jump deeper inside myself and this is what I crawled out with.

 If you ask someone, “What is your favorite season?” most people will answer, Fall.  Now this is something that I had to ponder.

 It didn’t take long to determine that it is due to the crisp air and the beautiful colors that we are blessed with during that time of year.

 This made me think of the other options we have available to satisfy that meteorological jonesing, namely winter, spring and summer.  I may assume your favorite season is fall, but cannot state that with any accuracy; therefore, you’ll have the unique opportunity to consider my view.  Fortunately, I live in a part of the country that experiences the four climate changes each year.

 First, the season of renewal: spring.

 Some folks see it as a time of reawakening and rebirth after the long cold winter.  Days become warmer; flowers bloom; trees bud and the landscape begins to ooze chlorophyll.

 Now, my take on this new season of beauty and warmth goes more like this.  The humidity begins to increase along with those wonderfully warm temperatures, which in turn causes me to leak. The beautiful budding of trees and flowers coat my vehicles in a dusty yellow powder, we know to be pollen.  Now this irritating dust that makes flora grow also makes my nose blow.  So in conclusion, spring for me is a foreboding glimpse of things to come; bugs to swat; sweat to wipe; eyes to rub and thirty gallons of mucus and phlegm to travel through my facial orifices. And, for that special added bonus, just for living in the troposphere, we enjoy thunderstorms, power outages and tornadoes.

 Next comes summer:

 Who doesn’t love the long lazy days of summer? The kids are out of school. The swimming pools are open and tis the season for the family vacation.

 I don’t know what I like better, mosquitoes siphoning their daily pint of blood or those wonderfully docile wasps that build their abodes over my door. These little psycho’s have no qualms as to when you enter or exit as long as they can jab their organic hypodermic needles deep into your flesh.  For some folks it is the time of year they can rejoice, for the spiders and snakes have returned to bid them a fond ado. To abscond with a phrase from a famous theatrical and cinematic production, and I quote, “These are a few of my favorite things.”

  • Heat waves, flooding rains, biting bugs and hurricanes.
  • Tornadoes cutting swaths through towns, where bloodsucking ticks abound.
  • Spiders, bees, scaly snakes and even occasional earthquakes.
  • Bats darting through the air. “Duck! Don’t let it in your hair.”
  • Each night they eat their weight in bugs; after a rain watch out for slugs.
  • Crickets chirping in the house; visits by a furry mouse.
  • Pulling ticks off canine pets; shots require trips to the vet.
  • Household chores like cutting grass; increases in the price of gas.
  • Sunshine radiating down, my back now red, no sunscreen found.
  • And now, I’ll stop these silly rhymes for I have taken too much time.
  • I realize my greatest fear, cause I have bored myself to tears.

And now everyone’s favorite: fall.

 I have already mentioned the endearing attributes of these golden three months. I would be remiss if I did not state the negative. So here it is: Ragweed! Nuff said.

 Finally, what you’ve all been waiting for… “Drumroll please.” The grand finale: Old Man Winter; Jack Frost and things that go crunch in the night.

  My favorite time of the year– ice on every horizontal surface; dormant vegetation crunching under foot; the trees void of leaves resemble multi-armed creatures eager to dislodge earth imprisoned roots. Single-digit temperatures; white rain accumulating on the lawn and road alike, making driving treacherous. And if one is adventuresome enough for a short jaunt to the beach they can encounter some of the best striped bass fishing available. During the winter I can look out my window and see nothing but the cold, gray landscape of apparent death (even though all is just dormant) I can walk outside unmolested by bloodsucking insects and at night all is quiet, unlike the crickets, frogs, katydids and hoards of other insects who lend their voice to the nighttime summer chorus.

 Although winter is one of my favorite times of year, the paragraph you just read was mainly tongue-in-cheek. There are things I love and dislike about each of the seasons. In fact, the differences are one of the reasons experiencing all four seasons is so wonderful. Holidays to spend with family and friends; summer vacations and being beat unmercifully by ocean waves; surf fishing fall, winter and spring just to name a few.

 All in all just another way to enjoy God’s endless bounty He constantly blesses us with.

 Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I like to fish!

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