Tag Archives: allergies

Squirt, Sniff, Blow, Wipe . . . Repeat . . . Squirt, Sniff, Blow, Wipe . . . Repeat

I posted a blog not too long ago about the return of spring. I wrote this aforementioned blog remembering the many springs I had experienced throughout my years on this planet. One of the mainstays in the previous article was the effect of pollen wiggling its way into the human condition.

Now that the green-dust-that-covers-all is back, I am able to record it live instead of write about it from memory. I hear fellow human-beings say, “Oh, look at the beautiful flowers. The dogwoods are beginning to bloom. I just love the apple blossoms.”

I’m glad you’re enjoying the beautiful floral show. I’d enjoy it along with you if my itchy eyes weren’t dumping juice by the quart. And, why stop there? My snot locker is so full that the mucus doesn’t know which way to go. Half of it runs out of my nose and the other half down my throat. This allows me to enjoy it later, coughing it up in the form of phlegm balls. Spring is a beautiful time of year, as are all of God’s seasons, but alas, the beauty is lost on me as my senses during the months of April, May and June are clogged, dull, runny or stuffed. Just wait til summer hits, with its 98° temperatures and 98% humidity . . .yeah, I know, whine, whine, whine, whine. Well, somebody’s got to do it; so it might just as well be me.

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Seasons Are Seasonal Not to Say That Seasons Are Seasonable If Seasons Were Seasonable Then I Think Salt Would Be The Only Seasoning a Season Would Need to Be Seasoned With

Gazing out of my window, I felt an inkling to pause writing and share a few thoughts buzzing around in my cranium.

Once again, it’s that time of year. Yeah, you know the one I’m talking about. If you ask anyone, “What’s your favorite time of the year?” The majority will answer, “Fall.” Did you notice how I worked a bit of dialog into the first line of my blog?

It’s kinda my favorite time of year also. Now what I mean by “kinda” is that it’s not consistently on the top of my list of favorite seasons. “What is?” you ask.

Well now, let’s take a look at each season, one at a time.

Spring: The weather begins to warm, the tree buds will soon turn to leaves, flowers bloom, and the entire scene is full of beauty and new life. It is also the time of year my body produces an overwhelming amount of snot, itchy eyes, and an overall feeling that the green dust (oak pollen) will never leave and soon take over.

Summer: Hot and humid. . . . Nuff said.

Fall: Rivals Spring in beauty, with the leaves changing to glorious colors and all the insects (especially the biting ones) breathing their last. All these are great things indeed; however, my nemesis (ragweed) appears enticing my body to produce an overwhelming amount of snot for the second time during the year.

Winter: No heat, no humidity, no biting insects, no snot producing particles in the air. . . . “Get where I’m going with this?”. . . . Looky there, dialog again. No brag; just sayin’.

I guess what it boils down to is–I’m glad I live in an area that I’m able to experience all four seasons. The differences are what make each one unique. In truth, they’re just another gift from God’s creation that we are able to enjoy.

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Cold and Dead, Boobala! Cold and Dead!

winterI’m not sure about your situation, but I’m fortunate enough to live in a climate where I experience all four seasons during the course of the year. I’m not a big hot weather fan and the spring time pollen can be rather uncomfortable, but I still appreciate a climatic change every three months.

In fact, I’ve used weather as a basis for short stories with good results, especially when you incorporate little tidbits such as tornadoes, hurricanes, and the like.

Getting off the subject of writing for a moment, the change in seasons tends to knock me for a loop. If you were to take that loop, add a two and a half gainer, a quadruple back flip with a reverse triple somersault ending in a six point dismount, you’d pretty much describe my reaction to the change of seasons.

Ragweed in the fall is probably my nemesis. My snot locker sends a constant barrage of phlegm as a cascading waterfall down the back of my throat clogging everything in its path. “Drainage,” I believe they call it. I prefer, “Niagara Falls.”

Now, spring is a totally different animal. You get all the snot, but with a dashing array of color.

My love/hate relationship is with summer. Hot, humid, mosquitoes, ticks, assorted other biting insects, thunderstorms (which I enjoy until the power goes bye bye)…these adverse conditions help me to enjoy fall and winter, which are my two favorite seasons.

Cool weather is definitely my forte. However sad this may seem, I’m at my best when everything outside is cold and dead.

Don’t know whether or not this requires any extra thought, but I think it best that I leave it alone.

Happy winter, everybody!!!!!!!

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GESUNDHEIT!!

I have found if you ask someone their favorite season, more often than not, the response will be “Fall.” I have no other choice than to agree.rugby

The days turn cooler, offering relief from the summer heat. The colors that grace the trees; no artist can paint. The crisp evenings instill a spring in our step and a revitalization that encompasses our inner being.

Only this time of year are we able to embrace the sights and sounds of the autumnal equinox. The grass is nearly dormant, extending a six-month hiatus to leave it be. Spend the time you would normally use to trim your lawn, on a flight of fancy for pure enjoyment.

Yes, indeed, this beautiful season we refer to as Fall. I once again must reiterate the sights, sounds, the cool crisp air… There’s something I’m missing… Something very important… What can it be?

Now I remember; a deep breath, an earth shattering sneeze, and 3 pounds of phlegm blast from my snot locker.

Smell! That’s what I’ve been missing! It’s not Fall; it’s ragweed season–otherwise known as “Relentless, Autumnal-Germinated Water,  Exceedingly  Enriched, Disgusting,  Snot, Eternally Antagonizing Said Owner of Nose.”

Wow! I don’t normally delve into mounds of mucus, but this just had to be said. Now, I strongly suggest to myself that I change the subject.

What popular activity is associated with Sunday (after church, of course) that coincides with the flowing of the phlegm? It’s the season of that great gridiron game, the all American sport of FOOTBALL. Sixteen weeks of testosterone-filled excitement, followed by the playoffs and then, the day of days…what we’ve waited an entire year to see…the only day of the year spousal abuse is allowed (and believe you me, my wife has a right hook that will put you on your butt. If I’m not mistaken I didn’t fully regain consciousness until Tuesday.)…Superbowl Sunday!  There is no doubt for that portion of the year, it’s manly men, wearing manly equipment, playing manly games.

Hmm… There is… dare I say it? Yes, I think I must… There is another manly game, played by manly men, in the land across the great pond. This land is a land of friendship–non-other than, the United Kingdom.

In no way do I mean to imply that our American football players are not manly due to the protective gear they don; football can be a vicious game and many injuries occur despite the high-tech gear.

However, I couldn’t help but notice in the game of rugby no equipment is worn. I have enjoyed rugby matches even though I haven’t a clue as to what they are doing. What I have been able to ascertain thus far amounts to this:

Burly men pushing back and forth in what is known as a scrum. There is a ball and crude orthodontia work being performed on the field. And, there you have it, my knowledge concerning the sport of rugby.

Unfortunately our time is over for now. There’s a football game about to start and I’m way behind on my play-by-play, not to mention the overabundance of mucus.

As for rugby, you’re walking a fine line between insanity and the manliest of the manly. For now I’ll discount the insanity and err on the side of manly-ism, but couldn’t you guys at least wear a mouth piece.

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If Pollen Could Talk, What Would it Say? Aw, C’mon I’m Snot Gonna Hurt Ya

Did I mention during my last post that I was in the middle of rewrites and edits?sneeze Now this is a rhetorical question because I did more than just mention that fact. I drove it into the ground, dug it up and like a bottle of shampoo instructs one to rinse and repeat, I did the same. Seems to me I may have even rented a backhoe.

Anywho, enough of that… I ran across a section where my protagonist and his entourage were a bit out of sorts due to the deadly desert heat they were forging through. It just so happened that on the very same day, we were experiencing temperatures that had climbed into the 70s and, complements of a cold front, dropped 30° in just a few hours. This sudden drop on the Fahrenheit scale signaled the rusty cogs in my brain to commence turning again–we’re now in the middle of the seasonal change from winter into spring.

You remember the old saying, “April showers bring May flowers,” along with severe thunderstorms, tornadoes, pollen, watery eyes, sneezing, boat loads of snot and gallons of phlegm. The difference in the two, by my reckoning, is snot emanates from the honker and phlegm from the pie hole. (I hope I didn’t get too technical in describing the two medical facts of life. If so, I apologize, but…there you have it.)

Pollen, watery eyes, sneezing and the bodily fluids that flow during this seasonal change remain the one constant, prevalent in all four seasons that we experience.

Having already described winter to spring (the vernal equinox), next in line is spring to summer. (The estival solstice)

Once again we’re plagued with severe thunderstorms and tornadoes, but this time pollen morphs from the trees to the ground in the form of grass. Alas, the snot still flows; albeit, much thinner than its springtime counterpart. There is also one small tidbit of information that bears mentioning. Those along the Gulf and East coast of the United States now have the additional threat of hurricanes.

Moving along we turn our attention to what most people refer to as their favorite time of year, the autumnal equinox, or fall. By now, thunderstorms have calmed somewhat, but hurricane season is at its peak and snot levels are off the charts, all because of my friend and yours, Mr. and Mrs. Ragweed. This time of year slow down and pay attention to your surroundings. Are not the colors dazzling (God’s silent fireworks) and the crisp air such a relief from the heat and humidity of summer? Take a deep breath, you’ll see……Achoo!!…… Excuse me please.

And now, we have come full circle. The circle of life, around the bend, back to the beginning, pass “GO” collect $200. We have reached the hibernal solstice (winter). It is during these few months that the river of snot is        more tolerable than any other time of year. The beauty of the snow, the wonder of the Christmas season, and the new year, when we hopefully try to better ourselves.

Once again it is time to bid you, “ado.” Thank you for listening to me whine about my yearly sinus problems. Of course, we know there are wondrous things to enjoy each and every day of the year and take time to say a prayer for those in harm’s way during tumultuous times embedded in each season.

Until next week!

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