It’s Going…Going…Going…That Ball is Outta Here!

1PnGye1I’ve written short stories, long stories, novelettes and novels. After a lot of soul searching I thought I may try my hand at self-help pamphlets.

This would be a way I could give back and help folks in these awkward situations that you or I may have had to deal with.

I’m getting excited just thinking about it. I may actually be able to pull someone dangling over the brink of despair, at the end of their rope or some other such dastardly demise. Let me give you an example of the information contained in these aforementioned brochures.

I will start by telling on myself. As a young man living in a rural area riding a bike was an everyday occurrence. Besides being fun it was a great way to access my friends who also rode bikes and lived in the neighborhood.

Occasionally, I would stop short (usually by way of a deep rut in a dirt road or a solid object i.e. house or tree) and slide forward in my seat. This in turn would cause my naughty bits to strike a round piece of steel. Now if you happen to be of the male persuasion you are probably cringing as you read.

Here’s the point of the pamphlet: why would any sane individual design a man’s bike with a nutcracker as a stabilizer bar and a woman’s bike with a pain saving dip? This dip in the frame of a ladies bike would no doubt have produced more children from unmutilated men.

The original reason for the dip in a woman’s bike was probably to allow the rider to wear a dress or some such silliness when they rode.

It may be too late, but I think we should start a movement to eliminate the ballbuster from the man’s bike. This will also remove the stigma placed upon those males who like to wear a dress when they ride…well…maybe not so much.

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