Sometimes Ya Feel Like a Nut…Sometimes Ya Feel Like an Aluminum Can Smashed by an Amphetamine Crazed Trucker

imagesSomeone needs to write an appreciation guide listing all the wonderful individuals, corporations, and just down-right, goodhearted entrepreneurs who want to improve our lives and, might I add, at little or no cost to the consumer.

Case in point: I cannot believe the plethora of products that cost little or nothing ($19.99 to use a random number) and as a bonus, come with a multitude of gifts totaling boo-coo bucks, absolutely free.

Do you hear what I’m saying? That’s an unbelievable savings that the company or individual in their undying compassion passes on to me. What a bargain!

And then there are the generosity hounds that will double my order (you guessed it) absolutely free, for that same pesky small processing fee. These high quality items are provided for our necessity at such a low cost I cannot fathom how the manufacturers put food on their own tables.

I can only say with a tear in my eye how truly grateful I am.

We mustn’t forget the companies who sell us a product and then knowing we’ll soon run out, send us a new supply each month, not  bothering to tell us…that is, unless we are able to decipher the fine print at the bottom of the screen.

I realize this segue into our next fascinating topic makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, however, it works well with my mind set and after all isn’t that what really matters.

By all accounts it seems that Angus beef is nothing more than a marketing ploy (go figure)  and frogs are not dumb enough to sit in a pot of water and cook even if the temperature is gradually raised. And, they all said my attention span was that of a…What time is it I believe I need to take my medicine…I know it’s here somewhere…There it is… Okay back to the task at hand.

Another thing, that has recently entered the crowded arena of marketing (and for the product we are about  to discuss the marketing plan had to have  been pulled from under a rock) is what can only be perceived as genitals on what used to be one of my favorite candy bars. This particular bar consists of nougat and is covered in peanuts.  Why a set of naughty bits makes a candy bar more desirable can only be a question for the ages. What I do know is when I eat nuts, I’m particular from whence they hale–be it animal, vegetable or mineral. Which raises another question. What type of unmentionable body parts could possibly sprout from a bar of sugar, caramel and goobers. Irregardless I think I’ll pass.

We seem to be headed in a direction I believe neither of us wants to go. So with that I will end this section with these immortal words… “Nuff said.”

Now, since I can think of no segue to rival the last, I deem it best to call it a day and reflect on tonight’s dinner minus the nuts.

As usual, thank you for tuning in and I welcome any complaints. I’ll be sure to let you know when the complaint department is up and running.

Toodles!

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