Have the Sense to Come in Out of the Rain Especially When Accompanied By Crackles of White Light and Big Booms

stormy-weatherHow does this grab ya? “It was a dark and stormy night”…Not your kettle of fish? How ‘bout this? “The sky exploded in a blinding light, while thunder shook the window panes to the near point of shattering”…Still not to your liking?

Try this. “The pounding rain soon turned to a river of mud devastating everything in its path”…Better but still not it, huh? Okay. I think this will do it for you. “The gentle rain concluded…yawn…and the clouds parted, allowing the sun to bring forth the first petunias of the year.

That does it for ya? So I gather from this idea exchange, you don’t care for thunderstorms.

Well, suck it up, Peaches, cause this post ain’t for you.

Have you ever noticed the beginning of some novels start with tempestuous weather such as, “It was a dark and stormy night?” It could be the first line sets a sense of foreboding for the entire novel. Or maybe the author just likes thunderstorms.

When you think about it, (and thinking is something I strongly attempt to avoid), what are the pros and cons of the everyday summertime thunderstorms, beginning with the pros.

1) It brings rain to sometimes parched crops.
2) It leaves a wonderful smell after the storm has passed.
3) When accompanied with a cold front, it tends to drop the temperature and humidity.
4) Provides a certain amount of excitement when the blast of thunder is so loud it causes your hairline to recede. (In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m really having to stretch for these.)
5) It waters the part of my lawn that doesn’t wash away.
6) It provides humor watching people escape the downpour and the soaking received by passing vehicles.
7) And last, but certainly not least, the calming effect of the rain bouncing off your roof and the distant thunder lulling you to sleep with Gods’ fireworks.

Now, for the cons.

1) Tornadoes.
2) Micro bursts and down drafts (straight line winds that can cause as much damage as number 1).
3) Flash floods.
4) Lightening: can cause power outages, fires and produce thunder that scares the bejeesus out of children and pets alike. (Not to mention many adults) At its’ absolute worse, lightening can kill trees and sadly enough, people.
5) Just the sight of a rotating storm (aka a mesocyclone) especially with a rotating wall cloud will send fear into the heart of the bravest man.
6) High winds can wreak havoc with outdoor furniture, plants and on a larger scale, most anything that’s not tied down.
7) Trailer park. Nuff said.
8) Increased accidents caused in part by individuals who haven’t the sense of a five pound bag of stupid to slow down.
9) And finally, and I say this with all my heart; please don’t stand under a tree, on a golf course, during a thunderstorm with a lightning rod in your hand.

If you happen to be walking along during a thunderstorm and feel your skin start to tingle, hit the ground immediately. If you’re still struck by lightning…well…sue me.

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