I have a science fiction novel that takes place on a planet named Aon. It’s a small planet (as far as planets go) about two-thirds the size of Earth. The planet is sectioned into different climate zones, almost like pie wedges, that run vertically from pole to pole. As you move from zone to zone, weather patterns can change drastically. You can travel from a lush green rain forest type environment to a harsh desert ecosystem in just a few steps. It’s this way across the entire planet with no two zones alike.
This brings up a plethora of questions. For instance, how could you step from an ambient temperature of below zero while treading on ice and within a few steps move to a grass filled prairie balmy and comfortable? Or, how about standing on one of the poles where each climate meets and melds into a climatic concoction impossible to describe?
The nice thing about this (the way I see it) is it’s all under my control. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
The one question I keep asking and have done so for years (this planet gives me the perfect platform to do so) is where in the world is the middle of nowhere?
First, we have to ask ourselves where is nowhere? I’m here and you are there which is where you would call “here.” Now, this says to me that even though I am here, I am in fact somewhere, and even though you’re there (which is here for you) you are in fact somewhere.
Does this mean that there is someone else who is neither here nor there once again meaning here is in fact nowhere? I will give you a moment to mull this over…times up. I’m sure you have a grasp on this concept equal to mine; so let us proceed.
It stands to reason that there is a third realm other than here or there and this realm we will refer to as “nowhere.” You’ve always heard it said, “no matter where you go there you are,” or “everyone has to be somewhere.”
I think we are finding that these notions may be proving to be unreliable; therefore, we must adjust our way of thinking. Now that I have brought this conundrum to light and done most of the work for you, I will expect a full report and a definite location for this place referred to as “nowhere.” Once this place is defined then I will gladly direct you to the middle of nowhere and put this nonsense finally to rest.
If you have any questions or run into any problems you may reach me at Klondike 555. Until then, good luck, so long, and don’t forget we’re depending on you.