The More Things Change the More They Remain

Even though it goes without saying, I’m gonna say it, “This world sure is a funny place.”space junk

I’ve written about other worlds, alternate Earths, parallel dimensions and none of them compare to the rock we call home.

As I have heard it said, and excuse me for paraphrasing, “Fiction is more difficult to write than nonfiction. Fiction must be believable.”

You can write about an alien being who lives on an active volcanic planet, eats rocks, poops yo-yos and attends the toy convention each year on Alpha Centauri.

How about survival on an actual caustic world–a world devoid of land with nothing but a sea of hydrochloric acid waiting to be fed?

Believe it or not a colony thrives in this environment. They are the Helicobacter pylori. To locate this ecosystem and these hardy creatures simply swallow. Your offering would be accepted, devoured and even added to your own recommended daily allowance (RDA) of stuff.

Let’s switch gears a moment and talk about the green movement, not the one that’s all the buzz here on earth, but the one a little further off the ground. Oh, you can bet plenty of people are in the know; it just hasn’t gained the worldwide notoriety of its cousin.

Why you ask?

It could be that Henny Penny hasn’t ventured outside for several decades. Personally, I’m holding fast to the theory that assumes it’s because hunks of smoldering garbage haven’t started falling out of the sky on a regular basis. I’m talking about space junk.

I know that “the sky is falling” crisis is true because I have spent an exhaustive amount of time reading and studying its effects. If you will turn your attention to the previous paragraph (the one that begins with Henny Penny) I will state un-categorically that I have read those three lines many times.

If you will then turn your attention to the paragraph just below this one, I will once again pledge to having scoured the text. This will prove that not only have I read extensively but am now considered the leading authority of what I have written.

Do you remember that old adage, what goes up, must come down? Well, over the past sixty years or so we’ve sent enormous amounts of high tech gadgetry up to space that have ignored the time-honored cliché and chosen not to come back down. I’m going to be the first to give this latest crisis a name: “Metal Mayhem.”

What I have been able to determine is this. As soon as the metal appliance is free from the gravitational pull of the earth it becomes a rogue, no longer obeying even the simplest laws of physics.

I sense they will be gathering at some point in time to do something. Until then, I will keep you apprised of any new developments.

Changing gears once again to the green movement on the surface of our planet (of which I am a proponent), God gave us this beautiful planet for our home and we are charged to be good stewards concerning everything within our power.

The latest issue I have to question are the cardboard tubes, or the lack thereof, at the center of a roll of toilet tissue.

One company has removed the dastardly tubes to prevent them from entering our landfills. It seems to me if we maintain landfills in order to dispose of trash, then what better trash to dispose of than paper products?

They come from trees, which we plant exclusively for pulpwood to make paper products. Once a cardboard tube hits a landfill and the tiniest bit of water comes in contact with it, I would imagine it would begin reciting the wicked witch of the West’s death dialogue.

“What a world, what a world,” the tube would moan (much like its green faced counterpart) as it dissolved into a puddle of goo. Who knows, perhaps cardboard tubes are actually good for the environment. They would supply ground nutrients it would not normally receive unless a tree fell and rotted.  Since the cardboard rots a few billion times faster, I believe I’ll opt for the toilet tubes.

The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily anyone’s, but can be attributed to the ramblings of a madman.

I’m tired of playing now…… I believe I’ll take my drool cup and go home.

Please lock up when you leave.

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