If Making Sense for Normal People Was Mandatory; Boy, Would I Be in Trouble…Problem Is, It Makes Sense to Me

In what genre do you write? I’m not sure it’s even legal to ask that question any longer. It seems every day or two a new grouping surfaces giving you additional options to categorize your work.button quail The latest, by my reckoning to slide under the radar is “new adult.”

Hmm… Let’s see, we have “young adult, middle grade and adult.” I guess we needed something to span the chasm between young adult and adult. Of course then we have to ask ourselves, what about the older adults, the elderly adults and the expanses between them?

Think… Think… Think… That’s not it.… Think… Think… Think… Think… Think… See how this grabs you.

“Middle grade, young adult, new adult, adult adult, middle-aged adult, old adult, ancient adult and dusty adult.… Dare we go any further? I think not.

How about fantasy? We have fantasy, high fantasy, epic fantasy, urban fantasy…… Enough already, I think you get the idea. In fact, I’ll jump ship, yet stay in the same vein. Here is what I mean.

I’m working on a fantasy adventure novel with a menagerie of characters (young and old, human and not so human) one of my favorites being a young attractive pre-teen with a feisty disposition.

This brings about a veritable cornucopia of expressions, such as: Cute as a button. Wow! Can you say subjective with a capital S.U.B?

Firstly, what one would call cute another would refer to as: pretty, attractive, etc. and we’re going to put a stop to that mess right now and assume that cute is a given.

Now, the second part of this saying is the most difficult to wrap your noggin around. Since when is a button cute?

After some judicious legwork, I have determined that there are no less than a bazillion explanations of this precursor to the zipper.

When trying to determine the most likely candidate of any inquiry, I use three separate criteria.

1.) Have I seen the explanation in question in more than one publication?

2.) Are these publications reliable?

3.) And most importantly: which one strikes my fancy?

After weighing the facts along with my likes and dislikes, I have determined that an English quail, known as a button quail (see picture top of page) was the inspiration for the expression “cute as a button.”

Just when you thought it was finally over and the nasty man can no longer hurt you with his outrageous button lore, I continue to flog the dead horse.

Expression number two: Cute as she can be.

Talk about “screwed up as a chicken noodle soup sandwich.” Boy, this one has the potential to blow 37 different ways to last Monday on the backs of two words.

That first word being: as

First and foremost “as” is either an adverb, conjunction or preposition. Quite a lot for the little fella to hold up without adding more… Don’t you think…Hmm? Well so do I, on to the second word.

This is where it gets a little dicey. With “be” being the word, is it truly as she wants to be or can it now be how someone else feels that she should be? You see, “to be” is not necessarily related literary wise to “or not to be.” So one could say that as long as the cuteness is maintained, the state of being, whether “be” is for her or be is for he, he be, she be, we be, you be, they be are completely immaterial and have no business “being” anywhere.

On top of everything else I named my firstborn “As” which makes “As” a noun. Now if he takes off running, give me a minute and I’ll turn him into a verb.

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