Oh, the Horror of it All

I’ve had several people, one in particular (who happens to be a very close friend) suggest that I write a children’s book. The first words out of my wife’s mouth were:children's book

“Are you sure you want him to write this book?”

You see, I normally stick to action, adventure and fantasy. Now when I say fantasy, I’m not referring to dragons, wizards, damsels-in-distress and the like. It’s more on the order of unimaginable creatures, ripping body parts from other unimaginable creatures… Oh, and human beings running around complicating the story.

I also write Christian fiction, where demons rip the body parts from other demons (but in a nice way) and once again human beings throwing themselves into the mix. I guess you could label my work as one big dysfunctional family with an affinity for body parts.

I mentioned the word family a moment ago and ask that you humor me as I change the subject for one moment.

Before family could move from my brain, down my neck, split to the right and left, traveling through each arm, into my hands and fingertips, which tapped the keys, ultimately displaying the word on the monitor…deep breath… It was being pushed by a phrase, down my neural pathways, just waiting to make its appearance.

Drumroll please… Introducing:

Friend of the family!

A bit lackluster you say? Possibly, but what exactly is a friend of the family?

It could be that guy, you know, the one that shows up at all the larger family functions. He’s Gertrude’s forth cousin, twice removed from the milkman’s, half-brother’s, step-grandfather’s, childhood friend.

Yeah, everybody knows him. He’s a friend of the family.

And then there’s Cora. She was someone’s, daughter’s best friend… I think it was Daisy, Brenda and Earl’s child.

Cora and Daisy were inseparable, from kindergarten through high school. After graduation, Cora married, had two kids and moved to Los Angeles. No one knows what her husband does for a living, but he makes megabucks doing it.

As for Daisy, the only place she moves from is the couch to begin her shift at the Piggly Wiggly, but she still shows up at Cora’s family get-togethers although she has moved into the ranks of friend of the family.
Remember Percy? He used to be a friend of the family, only he became a little too friendly and it’ll be at least 15 years, with good behavior, before he can carry the title again.

But then there’s buddy. He and your father, fought side-by-side in the Army. Buddy is what you would call, a real friend of the family. He’s always around to help when needed and a family get-together isn’t a family get-together without Buddy and his family.

Fortunately, there are a lot more Buddies than Daisies and Percys in most families.

Thank you for allowing me to indulge upon a whimsical thought that just popped into my brain.

Now we shall continue what you all have been waiting for… My first children’s book!

Think… Think… Think… I’ve got it. A book loaded with animals (Yeah, kids love animals), and they’ll all be cute little zombie animals. That way they can rip off body parts and it won’t matter.

Baby’s first horror book… And I even have a title… Check this out… “Fred, Fred, and his Band of the Dead.”

Yeah that’s it……

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