As I look back through the pieces I have written, I find numerous short stories, several novellas and a number of novels. I tend to write within certain genres including fantasy/science-fiction, action/adventure or a combination of anyone of the four.
It also bears saying that just because I wrote’em, doesn’t mean you can read’em. Even though I have had some success being published, by no means do I want to imply a string of New York Times bestsellers–for that matter, a string of anything. As you well know, it’s tough out there.
My writing as an individual is exclusive, yet typical, to me. So, therefore, I would have to conclude…… Typical…… Typical…….Typical…….Why is that word stuck in my head?…….Nothing of late that would bring upon an obsession with that…… Typical…….Typical….Wait a minute, it was a commercial.
Please, humor me for just a moment. These things get stuck in my craw and unless I’m able to vent I’m fearful my head may explode.
The national craze, (which has probably been the national craze for decades) weight loss, is inundating television. There are many different options. The plan where you count what you eat each day and once you reach that magic number you must discontinue any and all ingestion of food until the next day. They use celebrities and average Joe’s to depict their weight loss–30 pounds, 40 pounds 80 pounds and even 100 pounds plus. What they keep tucked away in the bottom corner of your screen are three little words, “Results not typical”.
Then there are other companies that ship neatly packaged meals that you’re supposed to eat for an entire month. They, also, use celebrities along with average Joe’s. I have seen weight loss claims beginning in the 20’s and topping out at well over 200 pounds. I also still see, “Results not typical”.
Now it seems to me that we should be able to hear from the people that experienced results that would be deemed typical.
The interview would go something like this:
(Lively music playing in the background) subject dances in front of camera wearing a designer moo moo. “My name as Luna Clod Roundhouse and I lost 2 ½ pounds in just six months on “The Systematic Food Chunkin Experience.” It has changed my life. I’m no longer self-conscious when I go to the beach. People can’t keep their eyes off me in my bikini and I can finally wear that swanky little black dress. Made it myself. Just goes to show you what you can do with a little know-how and 8 yards of material.” (Luna begins dance and shout as the camera fades to black.)
Or how about this:
(Man standing sideways with thumb stuck into the front of his pants showing the astounding 1/8th inch he has dropped from his waist. Somber piano music plays as he begins his testimonial)
I’m Hank and I once weighed 649 pounds. (He begins to tear up and his voice becomes shaky) but now thanks to the “Agnes J. Cheekwaister Butt Loss Bonanza Plan, I’m down to a sleek 632 pounds in just a year and a half. “Thank you, Agnes J. Cheekwaister!” (Camera fades as Hank begins to sob.)
Please don’t take this as a slam toward overweight people. I recently dropped close to 50 myself and my heart goes out to all who are trying. My only advice is don’t give up.
I, also, feel that it’s very important to…….Ridiculous…….Ridiculous…….Ridiculous…….Oh no, what’s coming now……… Ridiculous…….Ridiculous…….See ya next week………….