Does this sound familiar? “Have you used the nasal ointment, Snot-Away, and experienced any of the following symptoms: waxy ears, in-grown toe nails, hair on the top of your head, or an insatiable desire to eat when hungry? If so, call 1-800-IDIOTS-R-US because you may be entitled to compensation for your suffering.”
I am considering a class-action suit seeking punitive damages for the mind-numbingly repetitive invitations to sue for any outlandish claim that I am inundated with day after day on television. Change the channel, you say? There’s not a channel or a time of day in which these ambulance-chasers do not vie for my business.
I would bet I could slip on a bar of soap in my shower, injure myself, and find a lawyer who would take the case of Me vs. Me. With all the bad drugs out there, I’m surprised we’re not all dead. Instead, for some strange reason (Could it be the meat-wagon buzzards?…I think not.) we are living longer and having to endure less invasive procedures. (Could it be the evil drug companies and their miracle chemicals?) Well that’s where I’d put my money, that is IF I was a bettin’ man. Even an aspirin can kill someone with an allergy to the analgesic. To quote a great man, “That’s all I’ve got to say about that.” (You can add the accent.)
If you’re a follower of my blog, you know it’s at this point that I usually reveal the previous paragraphs as a metaphor for the craft of writing. This is made easier due to the ludicrous message I have brought to your attention. With that in mind, here goes…
When writing fiction, you can be as outlandish as you wish as long as you don’t step too far across the line of believability. In contrast, lawsuits can travel outside the realm of human belief and still be considered factual, no matter how ridiculous the content.
So as I wrap this one up, remember to write with fervor, embrace your story, and let the ridiculous diversions in this world roll off you like water off a duck’s back, for when it’s all said and done, they’re worth nothing more than a good laugh because, in all truth, that’s exactly what they are. I guess being put together as I am, I tend not to suffer fools gladly.